I had recently went through the toughest heartbreak ever, september 20th 2020 was probably the worst day of my life.
Or at least, that's what i thought until i met you.
I don't know how to describe the way you came into my life, it wasn't glamourous or any epic romantic event by any means. It was just so, regular. You slithered your way into my life, and suddenly - i couldn't imagine my days without you. I would wake up, excited to text you back - i would wait nervously for your replies and the bare thought of actually meeting you, made me feel things i had never felt before.
Everything about you was so exciting, your beautiful features, how you spoke, your passion for music and the way you made me feel as if i was the most precious thing you had ever laid your eyes on.
You may be thinking that this happened over the course of weeks, months or even years. And you would be so wrong.
5 days.
120 hours.
That's all it took before i found myself, drunk out of my mind on new years eve, promising you that i would be on the first train tomorrow morning to come see you. Thinking back, i feel so stupid and embarrassed. How i let a complete stranger completely overtake my otherwise usual rational thinking.
January 1st at 6:32 pm, i had just been dropped of at the train station by my best friend. My body pumping with nothing else but pure adrenaline. It felt weird, i had never done anything spontaneous or without my parents knowledge. Suddenly i was going to the big city, 4,5 hours away - to meet a boy i didn't know. The ride there was quick, so quick i have no recollection of it. Texting you the entire way here. You're picking me up.
9:53 pm, my hands are shaking and i can't think straight. You're not replying - i double text you.
You call me.
"Hey, where are you?" you say, in ur beautiful raspy voice.
"Uhm, i don't know actually." i reply nervously.
Damn it Jasmin, pull yourself together.
"Hey, don't worry - we'll figure it out together. Describe what you see"
The way you managed to calm me down, not knowing how much that meant to me. You didn't know that doing this was singlehandedly the craziest thing i had ever done.
"Uhm, i see the entrance to the theme park, yeah and the bus stop?"
"Heh, makes sense then - you're at the wrong exit babe. Can you go outside and find the green hotel Azura sign for me?"
I see it. It's beautiful.
Suddenly i start shaking even more, you're parked over there - waiting for me. What if you don't like what you see, or you regret even inviting me here. There it is again, that funny feeling and that stupid voice. The voice that always comes at the worst times.
"Just take the train back again, he's too good for you."
"You don't even compare to the girls he's been with before."
"Just forget about it."
I shake them off, and after 10 minutes of you calming me down on the phone, i see you. You're actually sitting in that car waiting for me.
You step out, you're taller than i imagined. Definitely over 6 ft. Blonde unkept hair, probably caused by this impending lockdown. You have kind blue eyes, i never noticed how colorful they were, and you're wearing a dark coat. The quality of your phones camera didn't do you justice.
You're absolutely breathtaking.
"Do you need to put anything in the trunk?"
I shake my head.
Oh my god Jasmin, say something!
You walk closer to me, your tall figure hovering right above me as of this very moment. Even though it's 35 degrees outside, i can feel drops of sweat forming e v e r y w h e r e.
"Hi!" you say, and give me a hug. The smell of your cologne quickly making it's mark on my clothes. Outrageously expensive taste you have, i would have never imagined.
"You know you can take off the mask sweetheart, you're not on the train anymore." You say, smiling. God, how do you this to me, i barely know you.
I hesitate.
"Are you serious? He's gonna leave you on the side of the road if he sees your face."
"Keep it on."
"Don't scare him away so quickly."
I think you noticed my hesitation, because suddenly i feel your hands gently rest on my face and i can now feel the cold january air hit my face.
"There you go, much better! You're so pretty."
"You think im pretty?"
"Are you kidding? Look at you!"
You grab my hand and spin me around, i let out a laugh. An old couple walk past us and smile.
"What a lovely pair you are!" The elderly woman exclaims.
"Oh no we're not-"
"Thank you!" you answer them.
You're proud of being seen with me, how come?
You laugh.
"Shall we get going princess? We have a long drive ahead of us."
I nod.
Your car is nice, it's new - im not surprised.
I like looking at you driving, driving in big cities always gives me anxiety - seeing you do it so effortlessly is very comforting and makes me feel safe.
We get to an intersection, the lights aren't working - you decide to press down on the gaspedal. A car comes speeding from the left, i cover my eyes. I feel the car coming to a rough stop and your arm across my chest.
You remove my hands from my face.
"Are you okay?" There's that kind smile again.
"Yeah thanks, how did you react so fast?"
"I don't know, i'm just glad nothing happened. I'm sorry about that."
You didn't know that i had been in an accident two months ago, you had no idea that being in a car made me anxious. Yet you managed to calm me down and make me feel safe.
Again.
You decide to take the scenic route, i like that you did that. I don't think you know how much i appreciated you showing me the beach and the houses located by it. I had always loved the ocean.
You ask me all types of questions, and it genuinely feels like you're interested. It's been a long time since someone has been this invested in me.
"Tell me, beautiful woman in my passenger seat - where do you see yourself in 5 years?" you say, in such an enthusiastic voice, i can't help but giggle.
"Probably studying economics or politics, i don't know."
"That's not what i meant goofy."
"Then what did you mean?"
"Tell me your hearts biggest desire! Something you want to have in five years!"
I wanna say that i could imagine the two of us together in five years, but i don't wanna scare you off.
"Well, you can tell me about it later - we're here!"
...
