A Tiger Who Earned Her Stripes

First stripe, age 15. Almost by accident, mostly on purpose. To see if it feels good. Curiosity killed the cat. Addicted after the first slice, craving more sweet indulgences. Reality hits, "What have I done?" Clean it up, quick. Hide the glad. Stop the flow of red tears streaming down your wrist. You feel no emotion, so your blood cries for you. Bandaids? No, too obvious. Cover up, bracelets, shirtsleeves, drawings, anything to hide it. What you think is beautiful, others think is disgusting. Revolting. Suicidal. It's a pain-reliever, a killer of the hurt in your heart.

Second stripe, two days later. Couldn't stay away, could you? Your blade talks more than you do, angry red slashes that have double meanings. Friends are worthless now, you have the one thing that won't leave you this time, no matter how much of a loser you are. A blade with a wicked silver glint, here to relieve you for a while before drop-kicking you back to reality. Not too deep, just enough to final feel again. Slice and dice, your body is your canvas and you are the painter. Try a different spot, your head screams. Hipbones become bloody, thighs bear beautiful red spider webs. stop. stop. stop. stop. Tpo much in one day, and someone will notice. Slide on sweatpants. Pull down sleeves. Put in headphones. Pretend to sleep.

"Alyssa?" your mom calls.

Leave, leave now, you think.

Door shuts behind mom, too close of a call. sigh of relief, gasp of despair. notice the red flowers blossoms on your sheets. blame Mother Nature, you're safe. for now.

You are a beautiful, bold, brave tiger who just earned her first red stripes.

And down you go baby, straight back to hell.

sorry it's so gruesome and depressing. I wrote this about my friend, obviously I changed the names. It isn't all the way finished, and hopefully I will work on it and write more happy stuff later. oh yeah and the writing style is based off of Winter Girls by Laurie Halse Anderson, my all time favorite author.