Why did it have to be you?

Chapter 1

The day Peter Parker dies is...unassuming. Normal.

Its sunny out, a beautiful day in New York.

Then again, every day seems to be beautiful for most people, because either they or their loved ones have returned from the snap.

But, let's go back a few days.

Pepper

The CEO of Stark Industries sat at her desk, contemplating. It's been almost exactly a month since...everything. Thanos, the reversed snap, and Tony. Pepper sighs, wishing that anything else could have happened. That the world hadn't lost a hero that fated day.

Tony, it's Pepper. Mrs. Potts.

Everyone misses you. We want you to come home.

But it was always for the greater good, with you. Always putting everyone else before yourself.

Most people are happy, but...

I don't know how long it will take before our family is happy.

Happy, he's doing okay. He still has his job, but he hasn't been quite the same.

Rhodey, oh, you should see Rhodey. He needs you, Tony, you're his best friend. He's devastated. Still tries to push through, though, and he'll go on, but...he'll miss you for a long time. Grieve for a long time.

Me, I don't even know. I'm not okay, but you always told me to move on. You're gonna be remembered, and I'm going to make sure of that. I love you.

Morgan, she doesn't understand. Yet. She thinks you'll come home any day, and it breaks everyone's hearts. I think she'll be okay. She'll grow up, and we'll tell her about you. She'll remember.

But...Peter. I think he's taking this the hardest. He blames himself. Thinks it's his fault, even though it's not and we've told him that a hundred times. He passed out when he saw your arc reactor turn off, and wouldn't wake up for days. We found out May had died during those five years, but he barley heard us when we said it. He dreams every night, wakes up screaming and begging for you. Rhodey is the only one that can even get him semi-calm. I think he's the most like you, and Peter's grasping at any comfort he can get. He still goes out as Spiderman, though, because he feels like he has that responsibility. Almost every day, he tells Morgan stories about you, and I've only seen him smile once in the whole month you've been gone. I don't know how to help him, but we all love him. We're going to try.

Peter

Swinging through Queens used to be exhilarating, and he looked forward to his daily excursions. Now, nothing can break the shell of grief around him. Everything seems foggy and dimmed, and all he wanted was Tony. It's been a month, but he still felt like he was back on that decimated battle field. He could feel Tony's arms wrapped around him, a kiss being pressed to his cheek. He wanted that back.

As he swung his way back to the Stark cabin, he heard a scream. Immediately, he turned, headed toward the source. It was a girl, maybe Morgan's age, standing backed up against a wall. A man was there, too, a gun aimed at her. He was dressed head to toe in black, except for his eyes.

The safely clicked off, and the girl screamed again. She was obviously terrified. Peter was already jumping down by the time he had gotten to the scene. The only should he heard was his feet hitting the side of a building.

The man seemed unstable. Peter watched in slow motion as he levered the gun to the little girl's head. He heard the shot, but he didn't feel it.

A strange haze filled his vision. It was the color of a sunset, but more...ominous. Peter sat up, taking in his surroundings. It seemed to go on forever, expansive and almost like a void.

A sharp pang in his chest reminded Peter of where he had previously been. He glanced down, startling at the hole in his chest, right where he could feel his heart beating.

He had been shot.

It wasn't like he hadn't been hit with bullets before. He could recall each time vividly. It hurt, a lot. And Tony would always come. Every time. Not matter how small the injury, he would drop what he was doing and fly over as fast as he could and check Peter over and fuss while Helen or Bruce checked him out in Medbay.

So where was he?

Something had to be wrong for his mentor/father-figure to not be here, 'cause this particular injury looked pretty bad. Peter stood up, vaguely thinking how there was no pain, no agony when he moved, and looked around. Nothing. There was nothing but himself here.

He frowned. Was he dead? That would make sense, but...

"Peter?" A quiet, familiar voice from behind him, and water that Peter hadn't noticed yet sloshing as he turned.

Tony.

Tony.

They were both running at the same time, desperate to get to the other.

Peter's legs gave out, crumpling beneath him and he crashed to the ground, but not a moment more and Tony was holding him, arms wrapped so tightly around him.

"Peter-" Tony manages, pressing his nose into soft, messy curls.

"Tony, Tony, Tony-I can't-" He was crying so hard he could barely feel gentle fingers carding through his hair as Tony adjusted Peter's position so he can see his face.

"Hey, you're okay. You're gonna be just fine-oh, Pete-" Tony's voice breaks and he can only hold Peter tighter, because that's all he had wanted to do for years after the snap.

He had thought about his kid every day. Told Morgan stories, listened to old voicemails and watched from Karen as Peter went out on patrol. All he wished is that he would have stopped being so worried that Peter would reject him and just hug him more often. Hold him, because the times he had had been some of the best of his life.

Movie nights on the couch that ended in both fast asleep, Peter curled into Tony's side. Peter getting sick or hurt, and Tony climbing into the hospital bed because he couldn't stand seeing his kid in pain. Nights late in the lab, complete with arms brushing occasionally and, sometimes, Peter's head dropping onto Tony's shoulder for a few moments at a time.

Peter and Tony.

Tony and Peter.

"I love you." The quiet words were shaky, much like the rest of Peter, but said in a way that Tony knew they were true. He pressed a kiss to his kid's forehead and rocked them back and forth.

"I love you too, 'roo."