Heavy Heart

Chapter 38

Zack was already at my place when I got home, I'd shown him where the hide-a-key was so he could let himself in weeks earlier. I was sure he was wondering why I hadn't made him his own copy but he never pushed it.

I found him in the kitchen with Mr. Fuzz making supper. I smiled when I saw the boiling water for spaghetti, "I invited you for supper not the other way around." Zack chuckled, "I thought I'd at least get it started. If you want to help you can."

I rushed to my storage room and set the bags in there out of sight. Zack shouted, "How was the appointment?" I returned to the kitchen and leaned against the counter, "Fine. I got the implant. It will take about a week to become completely effective. But after that we are good to go for unprotected sex."

Zack's eyes went wide, "I've never had sex without a condom." It was as though a lightbulb went off in his head with that statement. He turned to me for a moment, still processing and I couldn't help but giggled a little. Zack smirked at me and turned back to the pot of water. He broke apart the spaghetti noodles and tossed them in.

"Are you sure you don't want to use condoms?" he asked. I shrugged, "Well I don't have any STI's and you have never had unprotected sex so we don't really need them as long as we are exclusive. If you are worried about it, we can." He shook his head vigorously, "No, no I don't want to use them. What guy would? I'm just surprised it's on the table that's all."

I shrugged, "Well why would we? I mean, we aren't kids. We aren't worried about pregnancy. STI's aren't a concern. We are monogamous. So why wouldn't it be on the table?" He moved toward me and wrapped his arms around my waist, "I don't know. I just wasn't expecting it. Every girlfriend I've ever had wanted to use them. So it's what I'm used to."

I nodded, "That makes sense. I've heard bareback sex is better for the guy then condoms. I've done some research and apparently everything feels more intense. You can feel the blood flow, the moisture, the trembling. Apparently it's really sexy and makes quite a difference." Zack's back shivered as I spoke, "Layla, baby, you are setting me all worked up." I giggled and ran my fingers down his spine.

I whispered softly in his ear, "I'm a bit tender today with the pap test and implant. But if you are feeling frisky I can do some things for you." His lips found my neck as he nibbled and kissed his way up to my lips. Zack's whiskers were smoother than I'd expected, they didn't feel harsh against my skin. I kissed him back eagerly and slipped my tongue into his mouth.

"Supper first." he whispered against my lips. I could tell it was taking all of his strength to step back from me to stir the noodles. I smirked to myself and opened up the pasta sauce to head it up on the stove in a pot. I noticed Zack ran his fingers through his hair a few times, as though he was trying to calm himself down. I smirked to myself.

"So how else was the city?" he finally asked as we sat down to eat. I shrugged, "I got my Christmas shopping done. I think your mom will like what I got her. I got socks for Jackie." Zack smiled as he started to eat, "It's sweet that you got my mom something. Did you get me something?"

I shrugged, "I guess you'll have to see." He chuckled at my teasing. "I'm just going to get Lisa and Hannah a bottle of alcohol each from the liquor store." He nodded, "That's what Brock and I do every year, but it's a case of beer."

Before I could say anything Zack sat back against his chair, "Those two are so dramatic," I frowned, "Which two?" Zack sighed, "Lisa and Hannah. If one is sitting at the table with us the other won't sit down. Then one of them will stomp off and sit alone in the break room. It sucks, they won't just talk it out." I nodded but didn't say anything. Zack sighed, annoyed, "Like today, Lisa was sitting with us at lunch. Hannah sat as far away as possible from our table and glared at her the entire time. When I went to sit with her, trying to make her feel better she told me that Lisa and her were not speaking and that she had no intention of ever sitting with her again. What am I supposed to say? It was just so much drama."

I shook my head, "Yeah they just need to talk it out. To be honest I'm not sure they will be able to fix it though. I mean, they are both still really mad and it's been weeks." Zack huffed loudly, "Well it shouldn't be like this. They are going to have to get over it."

"You don't know anything about women do you?" I asked, teasing. Zack smirked at me, "I know a little bit about you. I think that counts." I rolled my eyes but couldn't stop from smiling. "I am not like a lot of girls, Zack. I'm not sure being with me will prepare you for much of anything." I reminded him. He shook his head, "That's the best thing about you, I love that you aren't like most girls. I love you just the way you are."

He stood up from the table, taking our plates to the sink. He pulled my hands, making me rise from my chair. Zack pulled my arms around his neck, moving his hands down to rest on my hips. He swayed us back and forth, slow dancing to a song playing in his head. I chuckled but snuggled my face into his neck and breathed deeply. He whispered, "See, this is why. This moment right here." I nodded but stayed silent, enjoying the innocence of our embrace.

"I love you, Layla. I'm not going to stop loving you. I've always loved you, even when I was too much of a coward to admit it to myself." he told me. I pulled back slightly so I could see his face. Zack smiled down at me, his eyes were focused and serious. I smiled, "I know, I love you too." He pulled me closer, "I'm going to spend the rest of my life showing you what my love is. I promise."

My breath hitched in my chest as his words, I bit my lower lip as I whispered, "Don't make promises like that, Zack. You can't know that." He shook his head, "I do know. I've known since high school." I felt my eyes grow misty, my voice trembled as I spoke, "Don't ask me yet. I'm not ready."

Zack pulled my head into the crook of his neck, he chuckled, "I know you aren't, baby. I won't yet, but I am telling you that I will. I will wait for you to be ready." I could feel my body shake in his arms, an odd combination of relief and fear coursing through me. No one had ever promised me anything that big before. It was foreign, like out of a story book.

Slowly, I took his hand and silently gestured for him to follow me. I pulled him to my bedroom where we took each other's clothes off without a single word. As we wrapped up in each other's arms I let his words sink into my mind, my heart and my soul with his warm lips on my skin.