~1 Month Later~
It's been a month since Dustin left me that fateful day and I never thought that it would hurt this bad. The only way I've been able to get any sleep is by crying myself to sleep every night. Today's Dustin's funeral and I haven't been able to think of anything but getting everything set up. I moved in with Jay since he has two spare rooms, one for little D, the other for me. Jay and I aren't that close we fight all the time, I can't believe that Dustin wanted me to marry him. Honestly he's a pain in the ass he thinks he's fucking amazing when really he's just a cocky ass bastard. Living with him is hard but I have to do what I have to do, I have to do what's best for my son and in the long run what's best for me. I was getting dressed into my black lace dress with my sheer black heels. I got little D changed into his little white onesie with a black sweater and a pair of black pant things. I was packing his diaper bag with slow tears sliding down my face when I heard my bedroom door creak open. I quickly wiped them away before turning around to see Jay standing there in his suit, he looked good, I'll give him that but that's all he's getting from me. I turned back to the diaper bag, until I felt a hand on my wrist stopping me from what I was doing. I turned my head to the side to look at him, our faces so close to the point I could feel his breath fan over my face. Our voices were in hush tones just barely speaking so only we could hear each other, like it was our little secret of what was going on in this room.
"Jay, what are you doing?"
"I'm being here for you."
"A little too close for that, please back up."
He nodded his head giving me some space and I went back to packing D's diaper bag. I put my purse in the bag before I slung the bag over my shoulder and grabbed D in his carrier. Jay took D and his carrier from me, I gave him a confused questioning look and he spoke up.
"You shouldn't have to carry anything heavy today."
I gave him a small smile nodding my head, we walked out to the car Jay strapped D into his seat. While I sat in the front seat trying to make D laugh so he wouldn't cry, I was playing with his toes until Jay climbed into the driver seat. I sat straight in my seat while Jay drove to the church, for the service, Jay and I were asked to say something because we were the last two people Dustin saw before he was gone. We pulled into the parking lot for the service and climbed out of the car, Jay couldn't get D out of his seat so I had to help him. We finally got D out of the car and walked into the church, I saw that Dustin's casket was open and I ran over to close it. He wouldn't want anyone to see him that way, when he died he was sickly looking, he was thin and pale no amount of mortuary make-up could fix that. I looked at Jay who nodded his head agreeing with me, he and I walked to the front and set D down in his carrier, I looked at Jay.
"I'm gonna run to the restroom real quick, can you watch D until I get back?"
He nodded his head.
"Yeah, of course, you okay?"
"I need to cry, and I never cry in front of people so..."
I was cut off by him walking towards me, he placed his hand softly on my arm.
"You don't have to hide from me Erica, I get it you lost your husband and the father of your son, I get it, you can cry in front of me. I'll comfort you and be there for you all day and until you tell me to go, until you don't need me anymore alright."
I nodded my head taking a deep breath, I looked down and walked out of his arms running to the restrooms. I stopped at the sink and put my hands on cold white porcelain to hold myself up, the tears fell from my eyes like waterfalls that weren't ever going to run out of water. I heard the door creak open and was about to wipe the tears from my face until I felt two strong hand's grab my wrists to stop me. I looked up to see Jay standing there he let go of my wrists and wrapped his arms around me holding me as I cried into his jacket and I didn't even try to stop the tears. When I stopped crying I pulled away from him and looked into the mirror wiping the tears from my face, my eyes soon widened as I realized that we were here but D wasn't I looked at Jay.
