And it was in that unruly, unexpected moment, that the beat finally dropped.
Try to imagine one of those many inconceivable scenarios you yourself have once imagined.
See you never think it could come true, never even truly explored the reality of how hard it would hit your unfortunate soul.
In that very moment It reached my soul.
Realisation gnawing at every inch of my flesh as I hardly grasp what just happened.
He's dead.
He's not alive.
He no longer has a future.
The crunches of snow beneath my feet scream at me their awful white light blinding my flinched eyes.
They all stare at me, i feel it.
They know how much i must truly hate them all in this exact moment, but i truly couldn't care less.
My body rushes towards him, aching for his warm touch once more, one final time.
He lays there his final moments seeping from him.
His eyes connect, for the final time, with mine.
True disparity hitting us both.
I cradle his head, in my arms.
"I never supposed to be such an awful man, i truly didn't.' He whispers suddenly.
As if i didn't already know he just ached so much for the feeling of love and appreciation he never knew,
As if i didn't already know he had dug himself too deep into an eternity of being the enemy.
It takes control of me then, the sobbing- the tears.
" My love , My love "
It escapes from me as i yearn for him, long for him to be able to stay.
His eyes flicker shut,
as i finally admit the words that
after all this time i had never truly spoken to him:
"I love you."
I finally sob, sob onto his drained body.
