There Appears To Be An F In Your Chat

Ring ring!

Hello?

Konnichiwa!!!

Oh, I'm sorry. I don't speak Spanish.

OK, just wait... There, I've untied my shoelaces now. Is that better?

Yes, That's great. I can understand you now.

Good. I'm glad I was able to contact you. I have important news that may shock or disturb you.

I was afraid this day would come. Do go on.

You see... it turns out that...

Tell me!

That... that... an entomologist...

Yes, what?!

An entomologist... is someone who... studies bugs.

Surely not?

Yes. I'm afraid it's true.

This is both shocking and outrageous. In fact I don't believe you!

The truth does not lie.

My god.

Ring ring!

What is that irritating ringing noise?

I'm sorry, that's just my alarm clock. Did it wake you?

No, I thought it was the telephone.

No, no. I don't own a telephone.

My god.

Yes, it's true. We're in an online chat right now.

In that case, I must re-evaluate many things in my life.

You have chosen a wise path. These are difficult times, but the struggle is worthwhile. Much like when one attempts to open a particularly stubborn packet of cookies.

Truly inspirational. Could you tell me one more thing?

Is it to do with the entomologist? Because if it is...

No, no! Could you just tell me, do you see an F anywhere in this chat?

I'm very sorry, I cannot answer that question.

Whyever not?

I have already signed off.

My god.

Yes. There is an unknown insect that needs my attention.

I wish you all the best.

Adios.