Don't Tell a Soul

One More Time

*this might seem a little slow or boring, this first part is not my best writing. But the 2nd and forward are what I think good writing is like*

*also PLEASE comment, i see the views but for all i know you guys hate this*

I knew him, he was popular and good-looking. About 6' 2" and really fit. You could see his tight shirts hugging his abs and big arms. His blonde hair draping halfway down the front of his face, spreading in a middle part. He wore casual straight clothes. T-shirt, basketball shorts, sometimes a hoodie. He wore grey a lot, this clashed with his light brown eyes. Turning them into an almost black color. We used to be friends but now he was just an asshole. I had recently come out to my school and been treated with such kindness. All except for Liam. Liam now bullied me for it. Whether it was verbally or physically it varied. Now, I had to spend another day of school with him.

I awoke that morning, the air breezed up under my sheets giving me an unpleasant chill. Wisconsin was always cold in the fall. I looked out my window, looked at the orange and brown leaves falling from my maple tree. It had been a month since I had came out. I sat up and sighed. It was too early to go to school. I looked around at my room. My LEDS changing from red to blue and back and forth. Clothes littered the floor and gave the room a quite messy look. The room was big and had two windows overlooking our backyard.

"Ughhhhhhhhh." I wriggled out of bed and grabbed my phone, to check my messages. None. Why couldn't I just have a dream guy, one with abs and who would strip down in front of me? No, I had no one. I had some friends but overall, I was lonely. It sucks to say but I was desperate. I want all my firsts, my first kiss, first time having sex, first blow, first boyfriend. I stopped daydreaming and headed to the bathroom still dressed in my pajamas. The window was open, spilling freezing air into the bathroom. My feet finding comfort in the furry teal rug. I grabbed my toothbrush ignoring the chill and start to brush. I watered the succulents that scattered my bathroom while I brushed. As I finish in the bathroom I walked back into my room, grabbed some clothes, and undressed. I looked at myself in the mirror and sighed. My baby blue eyes staring back at me. I was a scrawny kid, some freckles speckling my face, plump lips, a big nose. No one would ever love me. I wasn't enough. Enough anything... toned enough, funny enough, flirty enough. I hated myself. If only someone could love my broken soul. The one good thing about my appearance were my eyes. They were blue and radiant like water. They always said crying made your eyes more vibrant, maybe that's why they were so beautiful. Beautifully broken. I pulled on my jeans and a shirt, then rummaged through my hamper for a sweatshirt that didn't smell. I walked downstairs, only to find my brother waiting.

"Mom wanted you to make me breakfast." He said, daring me to object.

"Fine, I will get you cereal or something." I groaned as I walked into the kitchen and reached to open the cabinet. I got the cereal and pour him a bowl. He nodded and I left the kitchen. It was 8:55 meaning I had to bike to school soon. My mom and dad were already at work so there was nobody to rush me. I got out my bike from the garage and started to bike. The fall leaves crunching underneath my tires gave me a rhythmic beat to pedal too. The sound was so satisfying. As I biked, the wind whipped my face, the cold air burning as I pushed faster and faster. When I arrive at school I changed, almost instantly I tried to blend in. Tried not to be noticed, for if Liam saw me it would mean my day was already ruined. Why not wait till later or something? I walked into line and stood there. I jumped as I heard a hey from behind me. I turned scared to face it. I didn't want my morning to start like this.