My little Fire

Its going to be okay, right?

Mai
We had a small burial that next morning but still.

When me and Zuko left in the carriage, on the way to the cemetery, hundreds of thousands of people where on the road giving us their condolence.

I still didn't cry.

Zuko held me close the whole time, even when he gave his speech. I still didn't cry.

All of our friends gave us hugs and told us everything would be fine. I still didn't cry.

I then escaped from everyone tears and their 'I'm sorry's' and sat on a bench by some other person burial.

Her name was Ueno Gen. She was born in October 15 X657 she died January 23 X751 at the age of 93-94.

I wondered what she looked like, how she acted, if she was ever married and lived a full life.

I wonder if she died peacefully or painfully.

Even then I still didn't cry.

I heard the sounds of foot steps come from behind. They stopped when she sat beside me on the bench.

"I wonder if she was a bitch when she was alive," Azula said.

"Don't know," I replied.

We sat in silence as the wind blow around us. There was a lot of silence these days and I didn't know what to think of it.

"Zuzu's looking for you," Azula said.

It didn't surprise me. After yesterday, Zuko hasn't left my side even though, all I want is space and time to myself and our little baby.

"What they're saying, that everything is fine, is bullshit," Azula spoke up again.

It shocked me to hear her say that as I looked at her. She was staring at Ueno grave still as she woke.

"You lost your child who was so close to being in this world and that's not fine. It's bullshit."

"You should be aloud to be mad or angry- pissed even, I know I am."

That's right. Azula lost a niece yesterday. Iroh lost a great granddaughter. Ma and pa and Ursula and Noren lost their grand baby.

"I've been selfish," i said looking down at the grass, "I've only been thinking of me and forgot everyone else is hurting as well. I'm sorry."

"No your not," Azula growled, "this was your baby girl. Yes we all are suffering but you and Zuko have the right to suffer the worst. You more than him."

Azula reached over and grabbed my hand, "believe me no one blames you or is mad at you for being a little off and distant. We just want to make sure you remember you have one more person in you and we want what's best for you."

I looked at our hands. They where like Zuko's hands, she had the same size hands but long fingers and sharp long nails. They where slinder and soft. Several years ago, Azula couldn't even look at me and now.

"So go ahead and cry. Cry the nation a new river for all I care and if anyone has a problem with that, come find me and I'll kill them."

Azula held up two fingers and blue electricity shot out of them.

I chuckled a little before looking back at  grave.

"What- what if this one dies?" I whispered rubbing belly lightly.

I look up at Azula with watery eyes. The tears final start to come to my eyes but don't fall.

"I don't think I could take it," I whisper, "I can't  Azula. I just-" then finally, finally, I broke. Tears and tears just kept coming and I couldn't stop.