Lilliana: The Oldest Maximoff [Discontinued]

Recovery Pt. 3

"I had the weirdest dreams last night, Steve." I announce.

"Really, what were they about?" He asks.

"Well... I'm not really sure,"

Steve rests against the table, giving me a curious look.

"Okay..." He motions on.

"It was like I wasn't even there, no one  acknowledged me... But, I think they were centered around two specific people. One boy and one girl. They both seemed young, but I couldn't get a close enough look to identify them." I state.

He pauses for moment, "hm, that is weird."

"Yeah, but that's not even the weirdest part. It felt like I knew them, or like I was supposed to know them." I tell him.

"Do you think that they're just dreams, or do you think that they mean something?" He questions.

I take a few seconds to go over the information again, "I don't know. I guess right now they're just weird dreams. We can't link them to anything or anyone recently."

"Yeah, that's true." He considers, "was there anyone else that you didn't recognize, besides those two?"

"No...," I furrow, "wait, yeah there was. It was another man. He didn't look familiar, he even had a metal arm. Which I know sounds odd, but he seemed... protective."

"Of what?" Steve steps closer.

"Me"

"But that doesn't make sense. I thought you said that no one acknowledged you. That you weren't even there." He rambles.

"Yeah, I know.. but it was in the way he held himself and they way he glanced in my direction. It was almost like he could feel my presence, even if I wasn't supposed to be there. It was like you could feel the protectiveness radiating off of him." I describe.

Steve just takes the information in slowly. As soon as he opens his mouth to say something, I remember something else.

"And, there was something else about him. I'm not quite sure what. It was almost comforting. I found my whole body relax in it's presence." I explain.

"Hm, I don't know. But considering that he had a metal arm, I'd say it's a good thing you're on his side." He lightens the mood.

"Yeah, I didn't know dreams could feel that realistic and detailed." I mumble.

He gives a half-hearted laugh, "yep, who knew, dreams right?"

I return a slightly fake laugh, but I don't think Steve noticed.

"Yeah, dreams" I attempt to assure myself, "just weird dreams."

---------------------

The next few days were filled with deep thoughts about the 'dreams'. It was a good distraction from the horrible other thoughts that lurked in the back of my head.

Clint had even come over to say his round of apologies before hanging out at the park with us. But, I was only half there- if that makes any sense- because I was so focused on the dreams.

I had come up with countless theories...

I can see into the future
I'm loosing my mind
It's just my minds way of processing grief
I'm getting visions
My powers are acting up
They're just dreams

The lists goes on, but who wants to read about all of my crazy theories about what's going on inside my head.

I keep them all written inside a journal on my desk. It helps keep my thoughts organized and clears space in my head.

'Steve'

"What are you doing?" He asks. Steve scans the desk in in front of me.

"Are you still worrying about those dreams you had last week?" He questions concerned.

"Yes! I want to figure them out." I exclaim.

"Lilliana, you need to let it go. As of right now, they're just dreams. You don't need to spend hours worrying about it."

"But what if they're not just dreams?" I question, my anger rising.

"Then, we'll figure it out when the time comes. But, right now, that thought needs to be pushed away. You have enough things on your plate. Why add more?"

"Because if I worry about this, these dreams, then I don't have to worry about the things that really matter. I don't have to think about losing the job I love. I don't have to think about losing my entire family in one day. I don't have to think about how I've lost myself. I don't have to think about how I've lost my friends. I don't have to think about the fact that maybe, just maybe, I'm losing my mind!" I sob, now standing in front of him.

"You're not losing your mind, Lilli. You're just grieving a terrible loss. Give yourself a break. Not to rub it in, but you're life fell apart not too long ago," he exclaims, giving me a sorry look.

"You need to stop focusing on the maybes, and start focusing on the things that are actually happening right now. Let your mind deal with this first, before you deal with anything else."

I wipe a few stray tears and give him a nod. His words finally sink in and I fall apart. Steve gathers me up in his arms, and holds me.

"Everything's going to be fine" he attempts to assure me.

I can't even comprehend his words because of the chaos running through my head.

Steve rocks me back in forth, comforting me slightly.

He begins to speak again, this time I'm able to comprehend,

"Please let yourself grieve," he pleads, "I can't see you fall apart anymore than you already have."

I part my lips to speak, but I can't seem to form any words. Instead, I nod into his shoulder and continue to sob my heart out.

-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-

"Hello?" Steve grumbles into the phone, drowsy from sleep.

"Hey, I know that it's a little late to be calling you." They start.

"Yeah it is," Steve interrupts, "I'm sorry, who is this?"

"My name is Happy Hogan, I used to work with Lilliana." He states.

"Okay?" Steve waits for him to go on.
He's too tired to piece together the fact that he currently works for Tony Stark.

"I know what happened with Lilliana's family and her job. I was going to wait until morning, but I couldn't sleep unless I called to ask how she was doing." Happy rambles.

Steve rests up against the headboard, "um... She's doing fine. Lilli's going through a lot right now... I know that she's trying to distract herself instead of dealing with her grief. But, my friends and I are trying really hard to help her get through it." He states.

"Well, it brings me peace to know that there are people looking out for her when I can't be there myself."

"Of course. Goodbye, Happy." He's pretty done with this conversation.

"Goodbye, Mr. Rogers."

Author's Note:
I'm sorry that it took this long to get this chapter out. I've been on vacation with my family, and I really want to focus on that right now. I was able to squeeze in the time to write this before I got up this morning. I hope it was an okay chapter. We are continuing to push through Lilliana's grief and her powers.