Saying I Do

Chapter 1

I reach down to scratch the itch on my ankle. They do warn you about cold feet before weddings, but not about itchy ones.

My mother is a powerhouse. She has been greeting the guests, making sure the flowers are looking spiffy, and keeping my dad in check. Social events at a large scale give him a ton of anxiety and a wedding at this scale definitely would ramp that up to ten thousand.

It is almost that time and I'm holding my bouquet between trembling fingers. It's a bundle of pink roses and baby's breath. My two most favorite flowers, delicate and romantic. I'm wearing an off-shoulder, fitted number where it flares out at the waist in the softest tulle and has these appliqués of vines and pink daisies sewn along the bottom of the skirt.

The bridesmaids have made their way down the aisle and I know my dad will be over soon to guide my nervous self down along with them.

As I'm feeling my own anxiety skyrocketing, I feel a presence coming down the hallway that seems contained of too many mirrors. It almost makes one feel like they need to reflect on everything before making such a life changing step. I'm going to look at my boyfriend of three years and see him in a new light. A forever light that won't stop shining.

When he proposed, we spent the whole day together which is always great because of how much we both work at our respective jobs. Him as a manager of an Italian restaurant and me as a manager at a bookstore. It is stressful, but we love what we do and we encourage each other.

Dean took me to this beautifully lit park with those warm yellow colored bulbs that are attached to a black wire decorated all around this firepit area. I love lights. Fairy lights, lanterns, candlelight, etc. Part of my job is aesthetics, mainly when it comes to the shelves. So when he got down on one knee and I looked all around, drinking in the moment, I could not think. I was starstruck. "Yes," I spoke softly to the air, seeing, but not at the same time. He lifted me into the air and I felt like I was flying for the first time.

I break out of my reminiscing and turn towards a figure moving my way hoping that it's my dad. I can imagine that it is almost my cue to walk down the aisle since it was beats ago when the bridesmaids had gone ahead. But I take in the unbuttoned suit jacket revealing a black tank top underneath. Him in his dark black jeans and that stupid diamond earring only on his left ear that he keeps convincing himself that it looks cool. It isn't and never was, but it always worked for him and I hate it. I know he was invited but he never RSVP'd.

It all crashes into me harder than a truck ever could. I'm getting married in a matter of seconds to my boyfriend of three years and my ex is here.