The Reyes | b.e.

chapter nine

billie and i didnt kiss again after that.

instead, she actually became my friend. my really good friend.

she started coming to my house every other day and we would stare at each other from across the room and jokingly flirt without letting anyone else notice. sometimes she came inside with me and we smoked together.

we started texting all the time and i also went to her house or was with her in her gigs, frequently. we always drove at night in silence. it became a little tradition.

she was still with matthew, and i felt that it was only getting more and more serious between them as time went by. but we never talked about their relationship, and we never even mentioned the night we spent together, for some reason. it became this weird cloud of unspoken tension that we decided not to acknowlodge, and things were fine that way.

but i wasnt.

i was never really the same after my dad passed. and i guess i tried to fill that hole in many ways but i failed every time. i had been depressed for about a year and a half, on and off between feeling horrible and having a few good moments.

it was hard too cause things were really chaotic and i barely had time to process, you know? my house was always full of people and noise and the smell of drugs, my brother was amazing but he didnt have that much time for me, my sleep schedule was fucked up and school ended up always coming second because of... because of everything about where and how i lived.

i had almost no perspective of a future. i was just getting by. billie made it easier, even though i never told her about any of it. she saw it. she saw me, and she read me between the lines.

one time i was in her room, the red lights shining on us as we stared at the ceiling together.

-bry?

-yeah?

-do you wanna get really fucked up tonight?

i giggled at her random question, but went with it.

-sure, why?

-i dont know, i just feel like it. im bored as fuck.

-ok - i laughed. -do you have a fake ID or something? cause im not gonna go to my place right now just to get booze.

-jesus, youre annoying. - billie rolled her eyes.- but yeah, i do have one. are you coming with me or do you wanna wait here?

the thought of being without her in her house felt weird, so i decided to go with her. we got some really cheap blue drink and honestly, i prefer that shit over some wine or whatever it is boring people like to drink. wine is bitter as fuck for no reason and you have to pretend you like it. these kinds of drinks get you drunk really fast and theyre super sweet, so you actually enjoy drinking.

-do you always drink? -i asked genuinely. i dont think i had ever seen her with a cup in her hand any time she was at my place.

-nope, never. like, ive drank, but i dont drink. i prefer weed, you know that.

-so what made you change your mind today?

-jeez, bro, i just felt like it. -she laughed and i could tell by her tone she wasnt actually annoyed, just playing around. -do you drink?

-i used to drink. like, a lot. but lately my brothers been, uhh... 'controling my alcohol consumption'- i said, mocking his voice.

-damn, your brother? why though?

-because it makes me depressed. -i said honestly, not trying to tip toe around the subject. i may hide things sometimes, but i dont lie when im directly asked about something.