After August

00 | prologue

WARNING: mentions self-harm, suicide, and eating disorders

5 years ago...

The pills hadn't worked. And she didn't know if her mother was glad or angry about it.

She didn't know if she was glad or angry about it. She supposed the latter. Nothing changed, her mother still wrote and organized her schedule, and her father was arranging meetings, searching for more opportunities. For her or himself, she didn't know.

Her room was unbearably silent, but despite that, it was some-what comforting. She was sitting in the middle of her pale-neatly-made bed, the translucent veil that hung around her bed felt ironic. She supposed it looked like a princess' bed but she also thought that this setup might be very similar to her death bed. If her parents bothered to spend that much money. Her skin wasn't as smooth as they wanted and was always cold to the touch. She had a habit of picking her skin, a habit her mother had desperately tried to break.

She turned to look at her white desk. Only the remnants of dried paint stained the counter, her sketchbook, paints, brushes, books. No longer there. Her mother had taken them all the minute they came back from the hospital, stating, "if you have time to rummage for pills, you don't need all these useless stationaries. Go workout, you're looking awfully like a stick." But she thought that's how her mother wanted her. Or why was the only thing that filled her stomach was the banana bag the nurse gave her in the hospital?

She was so tired but didn't want to sleep. Afraid of what would happen if she did. So she sat, and waited. Waited until the sun disappeared over the horizon, waited until the night had fully settled in, waited until the moon was high in the sky, waited until she knew her parents were too overcome with sleep.

Only then, did she move from her bed. Her thin-pale limbs hit the ground softly as she tiptoed to the door, they were slightly numb from sitting in the same position for too long, but she was used to it. It felt similar to when her stomach had nothing to digest.

Slowly opening the wooden door, she turned to the right to gently padded down the stairs. Her ears were alert, for any sort of movement as she rushed into the kitchen. She didn't need light to see where everything was, she knew it by heart.

Her breath left her lips in relief as she gripped the cool plastic handle of the fridge. A soft yank at the door and the fridge light shone but a rattle sound kept the door from opening any further. Her eyes widened in disbelief as she now saw the metal chain and lock. They didn't forget. Her teeth gritted as she kept the door open with her foot and fumbled with the lock. Yanking and snapping it until she knew it was no use. She slumped to the ground. Her white sleeveless nightgown didn't shield her from the cool air of the night. She couldn't even reach her hand through the crack of the fridge door.

She knew the key was in her parents' bedroom, but she couldn't risk it. Not after what she had pulled.

She yanked again, furious and desperate this time as she pulled and pulled, not caring that the chain likely left a red mark on the underside of her hand now. She knew the drawers had nothing for her to eat. Like they always were.

A sob left her that she didn't even register until she let go. Hands clenching to soothe the burn in her hands, her fist then collided with the solid plastic, but immediately flinched away as the sound seemed to echo throughout the house. She instantly stilled, eyes moving, ears listening, in search of any movement. Nothing sounded.

The slight relief had her hand against her mouth as she stifled her sobs. Her body shaking from the intensity.

But a click of the door had her eyes widening. Instantly silencing her sobs as she pulled herself deeper in the darkness. She heard the movement outside the front door, the jangling and rattling sound of keys turning a lock.

Eyes frantic, she pressed herself to cabinets beside the fridge as the door opened and a figure walked through. The streetlamps outside were all there was to illuminate his silhouette. The light poured in as he opened the door wider. She stilled. His eyebrows furrowed in confusion as he spotted the slight movement. She was also trying to make out the shadows but at the same time prevent being seen. He hesitantly lifted one of his luggage's over the ledge of the door and she pressed herself even flatter against the wooden surface when she was sure he would spot her.

Then she heard her name being called and she flinched at the sound. He stepped inside, walking cautiously towards her, the rubber soles of his shoes sounding against the scratched-up hardwood floor.

She didn't move. She wasn't sure if she was even breathing as he approached. But when he saw her as clearly as he could in the mostly dark house, he backed up a step. "Who are you?" he demanded. Moving to flicker on the lights but her sudden movement made him halt.

The jewel on her ankle glared for a millisecond as it reflected the light in the streetlamps outside. He instantly looked back up to her face. The realization sinking in. "Aspyn?" he breathed. Flickering on the lights but dimming them instantly.

She flinched at the sudden brightness, but he wasn't moving anymore, he couldn't comprehend what he was seeing. His twin sister. Sprawled on the ground in a thin nightgown. Hair unbound to her waist, with limbs so parallel with each other he swore her thighs might be the same size as his arm. He hadn't even recognized her when he truly saw her.

"Aspyn," he repeated. Kneeling in front of her as she pulled her body into a ball, staring at him but making no move to approach him. Her eyes didn't have the fear or unknowingness in them. She had recognized him. He hesitantly reached for her, his fingers brushed his skin but she flinched back. Hard. And he did too. Not from fear, but the cold. "Gods," he breathed, quickly shrugging off his jacket and wrapping it around her. "What are you?-" He glanced at the fridge and saw the chains. "What the-" He took the lock into his hand, inspecting it. "They locked the fridge?!" His voice shifted into something feral. She pulled back, arms wrapping around her head, and he couldn't help the pained expression that shot through him. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry," he spoke. "I'm not mad." He dug through his bag, looking for any snack or any remnants of food. She peeked up from the sound. Then he found a bag of slightly crushed cookies and offered it to her. She looked at him, and he tried to put the kindest expression on his face as he nudged it towards her.

When she realized that it was for her, the bag was snatched out of his hands and ripped open. Shoving the crumbly cookie into her mouth so fast he wasn't even sure she was chewing. She was so pale. So pale that he thought she nearly matched the white tiles on their kitchen floor. He had to stifle in a sob as he watched her eat. Watch her eyes turn into something of desperation that he couldn't help but pull her into his arms. His hand gripped her head to his chest, and she stilled, not knowing what to do. "We're leaving," he gritted. "Once I get enough money, I'm taking you out of here and we're never coming back."

She didn't know what he meant. But he was here and offered her food. He was warm and she had something to fill her belly, so she guessed it didn't really matter what he was saying. Not right now anyways.

author's note

♕

Hello everyone and welcome! I want to start off by thanking you, the reader, for choosing to read this book. It means everything to me that you've clicked onto here and gotten this far!

After August is a book that I'm currently in the midst of writing. This story came from a time where I was really struggling with my life and decisions so I resorted to writing as a source of comfort. These characters I've created are everything to me and I dearly hope you might love them as much as I do one day, once you get to know them a little bit better.

I hope you can give my book a shot and that you're interested in sticking around for the time being:)) If you came from my TikTok account, hello! it's nice to see you again. Everyone else, I'm so happy to meet you and if you ever wanted to chat, I'm always free :)

Thank you once again for reading and perhaps giving my writing a chance. I hope you fall in love with this story as you read on, and I hope to update everyone really soon!

soul