Doggin Around

First Date

Bojack sat alone in the coffee shop, waiting for his boyfriend to arrive.

"Bojack!" Mr. Peanutbutter called out as he came through the door, several decibels too loudly for a small coffee shop. "Bojack and Mr. Peanutbutter in the SAME room? Is this a crossover episode!?"

"Two iced coffees please," Bojack asked the waitress. "So, how did the P.B livin' meeting go?"

Mr. Peanutbutter seemed overjoyed to be asked about it. "Todd and I had the fantastic idea of starting a company that delivers food RIGHT to your door! How cool is that?"

"You mean like...Doordash? Uber Eats? Grubhub?  Skip the Dishes? Many other apps with that EXACT purpose?"  Bojack asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Well.. here's the catch, It's called Dogdash. So it's very different, Bojack."

"Well...good luck with that, Mr. Peanutbutter."

"Here are your coffees!" The waitress said with a warm smile. She set the two glasses down on the table.

The moment she was gone, Bojack produced a small bottle of Bailey's and quickly poured about half of it into the cup, giving it a small stir.

"Bojack!" Mr. Peanutbutter scolded. 

"What? You're getting after me about a little in my coffee? Come on asshole, this is nothing!" Bojack laughed and rolled his eyes.

"You know what?"

"What, Mr. Peanutbutter?"

"I-I'm not dating you if you're going to keep drinking!" Mr. Peanutbutter stated, whispering the word dating like it was a secret.

Not drink? Was he crazy? "Listen, If you've decided you aren't interested in me anymore, you can just tell me, okay? Don't make it about the fact I drink."

Mr. Peanutbutter opened his mouth to say something, but Bojack wasn't done. "You knew that about me before you asked me to...what? date you? We never even talked about what exactly it IS we are doing, what are we..." Bojack paused in panic. "...was this a mistake?" 

The hurt in Mr. Peanutbutter's face was unmistakable.  "I didn't think it was. And if you want to talk about cruelty Bojack, telling me that on our SECOND DAY OF BEING TOGETHER definitely takes the cake."

There was a few moments of pained silence as Bojack stirred his coffee and looked down into the table. He got the awful feeling that any second one of them was going to storm out. If he didn't say something first.

"I'm...sorry, Mr. Peanutbutter. I overreacted, I guess, I do that...a lot. And I didn't mean that you were a mistake. You're actually, really good for me. Just, please, don't expect me to be something I'm not. You'll only get hurt when I can't live up to that. And I don't want to hurt you. 

It wasn't a perfect apology, but the argument had been stupid to begin with.

Mr. Peanutbutter sighed. "I wasn't trying to expect too much of you Bojack, just...I want you to be okay. I really do. "

Bojack looked up from his coffee and into Mr. Peanutbutter's eyes. "I know. I'm not most of the time but it's okay that you want me to be. You're a really good partner, I don't deserve you. He chuckled softly. 

Mr. Peanutbutter smiled. "Does this have to count as our first date?'

"God please no-"

"Let's go do something, then. Something fun." 

"Okay."

They stood up. Bojack forced himself to say what he was thinking right then. 

"I love you."