Zaiden was always the people pleaser, and why wouldn't he be? he was raised that way, growing up to be a whole ass mafia leader and seen what wicked people can and will do to this world took a turn on him. his dad taught him all that he knows and if...
I had the most restless night last night I didn't get any sleep at all and I was really tired. I got to dads house by 11pm last night and I hadn't talked to anyone about what happened I just needed time and space to think and both dad and Gen thankful understands.
All I did the whole night was cry. I cried for my sorry ass and the situation I've landed myself in, I couldn't come to terms with the whole fact that all that happened last night and I couldn't stand to stick around. I love him so much and to hear what she had to say that shattered me.
And I can't be mad at him for it, because it's not like he cheated right. He said it ended before we started dating and I have no reason to be mad at her either because if she's pregnant then who am I to say it's not his.
Ugh...I don't know what the hell to do. This is so stressful if that's his child then obviously he'll have to take responsibility for it and her. Then what would become of me? I don't want to be the cause of an innocent child problems I don't want to be the reason it grows up without being with it's parents. And I most definitely won't give anyone the advantage over me to cast me aside.
A knock came from the door dragging me from my thought and I sat up rubbing my eyes "come in" I say in the most welcoming way as I wasn't feeling jolly at all today. The door pushed open and dad walks in with a warm smile on his face.
"Good morning angel " he says walking forward to me "good morning dad" I say with a genuine smile as I was happy to see him. "I was wondering if you wanted a hot beverage, it's hot chocolate" he says making me giggle and stretching my hands out like a kid he knows I love hot chocolate. He hands it over and just the sent was amazing "thank you" I say before taking a sip "you're welcome dear" he says taking a seat on my bed.
"So Gen is going to the supermarket today would you maybe wanna go?...could get your mind off things" he says and I couldn't be more greatful that he didn't want me to tell him what happened.
"Yes please I'd love to go, oh! can you ask her to make those little snack cookie thingys?" I ask with puppy dog eyes making him chuckle, "will do" he says standing and kissing my head before walking out making me smile.
This was good I could go out so that I don't overthink on stuff and I would get to spend time with Gen. It'll be fun at least I won't spend the day sulking in self pity instead I could go buy vegetables and shit. I do miss Zaiden but being away from him in these circumstances is the best thing to do right?
After I finished my hot chocolate I got out of bed and headed straight for the bathroom. I did my business before throwing my hair up in a quick messy bun. I stripped from my clothes and stepped into the shower turning it on and on cold.
After getting a well needed shower I dried my body and stepped out wrapping a towel around me. I walk to the sink and did my best not to look at myself in the mirror because I am afraid of what I look like at the moment.
After doing a good hygiene practice I walked out and got clothes from my bag which is a multicolored Nike sweat shirt and black leggings which I paired with some Nike sneakers.
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