Love and Loss

Part one: How did we get here?

We just stood there, in the pouring rain. Just staring at each other, an entire square of the concrete sidewalk between us. Every time he would try to take a step toward me, I would step back. I couldn’t let him touch me. I knew that if I did I wouldn’t let him go. I was weak when it came to him, all he had to do was smile and I would melt. I love him, so how did we get here, standing in the rain?

It wasn’t all that long ago that we were happy, and laughing. In fact, it wasn’t all that long ago that we met.

I had just moved, and made only a couple of new friends at work. One Friday evening my coworker, Dana, invited me out for drinks after work. She was meeting up with some friends, and asked if I wanted to join. Being new in town, I really didn’t have anything else to do, and I didn’t know anyone so I agreed to come along.

We got to the pub where her friends had gotten a booth and saved us two seats. Somehow I got wedged in between Dana and some guy friend of hers. She didn’t really introduce me to anyone, so I sat there awkwardly for a little while until he finally spoke up.

“Hi, I’m Riley.” He said offering his hand.

“I’m Brynn, nice to meet you Riley.” I take his hand and we shake, I feel a little awkward.

“Dana’s mentioned you a few times. You just moved here a little while ago right?” Riley asked, taking a sip of his beer.

“Yeah…” I say, looking down and playing with the cocktail napkin under my glass.

Riley gives a little chuckle; I look up at him for the first time since I was seated. He’s actually very attractive. He has light brown hair; it’s a kind of wavy/curly mess, chocolate brown eyes, his skin is a nice light tan and he has a smile that could light up the room, accompanied by dimples.

“What’s so funny?” I ask.

“Nothing.” He says, a smile still playing on his lips.

I scowl at him and his smile grows wider. I can feel my face flush, so I turn back to my drink and continue to play with the napkin. Eventually I meet everyone at the table and join, awkwardly, in the conversation. Mostly I sit quietly though.

Riley asks me a few questions about my move, where I came from, why I left and about my family. He’s very pleasant to talk to. He’s very kind, and seems genuinely interested in my little story.

“Well if you ever need someone to show you around town, I’d be glad to do it.” Riley offers.

“That’s very kind of you. Thank you.” I feel my face flush again. What the hell is my problem?

Riley smirks again and finishes his beer. He looks at his watch and raises his eyebrows.

“Holy shit, I gotta get going. I have to call Marie before it gets too late.” Riley makes to move.

Dana stands, I follow suit, allowing Riley to get out of the booth. I look at my phone and realize how late it is.

“I should get going too actually. I have some stuff to do tomorrow. I’m still not fully unpacked.” I say. I’ve been here for three weeks and still haven’t finished unpacking.

“Awe, well I’ll see you Monday.” Dana says giving me a hug.

“Yeah, for sure. It was nice meeting you all.” I wave to everyone at the table, turn and start walking away.

“See ya guys.” Riley says and I can hear him following behind me.

I reach the door, but a hand grabs the handle before I get to it.