Bogsworth Newspaper

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The Mysterious Sandwich Murder Or A Prank By The Gaff Twins (Again)?

During Lynn Gaff's lunch a dead body magically appeared, and the local bear detective, Frydor Pilcfest is now investigating the murder. So far we know the body in question was Lynn's twin brother Flynn Gaff. The two of them have played pranks on the whole island before, and specialists aren't even sure if Flynn is dead or not, Lynn gaff has been taken in for questioning, and their family is all rolling their eyes at this whole situation. 

By: Cosmic Killer

Mrs. Prichard's Paranormal Purse

Mrs. Pritchard is not a local, but a summer visitor, and so her purse baffles all the smart people on the island, but one teenager says, "It makes sense, it's flat Earth science," so naturally no one listened. Han Castro however has figured this mystery out by consulting Paranormal Sightings and the Science Behind Them. The scientists of Bogsworth are fed up with teenagers outsmarting them, and in a rush of anger, they have all quit.

By: Cosmic Killer

Candy Has Feet Now,

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Candy Has Feet Now,

And it's sexy.

By: Cosmic Killer

French Bulldog Reveals His Darkest Secret

The death of Marilyn Monroe has been speculated over for decades. Suicide? Murder? But no, none of these theories were right, it was actually the french bulldog (known as Oboe) who was the one to end her life. Oboe is now being questioned by the FBI and was going to be sentenced to execution, but scientists intervened to run tests on Oboe because for fucks sake he's a talking dog.

By: Cosmic Killer

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