That's Not Me

A Hitch in the Plan

Y/N'S P.O.V

I walked along the quiet road, looking at my surroundings. The day was beautiful and peaceful. It was slightly cold, but my thin sweatshirt was enough to provide me a comforting warmth. Enough so that I decided to go to the park. I wasn't in the mood to head to the studio or see my friends in that moment. There was a lot on my mind and I needed to think, but also... stop thinking. 

I let out a sigh, and placed the headphones that were around my neck, on my head. I wanted to play some music, but nothing was catching my attention skipping every song that would play So I just sat there. Slouching on the park bench looking up at the clear L.A sky.

"What are you listing to?" I suddenly jumped at the voice. Looking over I saw her laughing just a bit before sitting down. I placed her headphones back around my neck giving the older girl my attention.

"Actually I'm not really listening to anything. Sometimes when I wear these it helps me avoid having to talk to people." I tells her honestly.

"That's pretty smart." Emily nodded her head. "Is there a reason why you're shutting off the world?"

"Im sorry" I let out a soft sigh bringing her attention forward. "We lost the movie soundtrack to, Hailee." God I released that I sounded so defeated and tired. But all I could do, instead of trying to put up a strong front was close my eyes for just a moment.

"Why apologize, it's not your fault that the project was stolen." Emily shrugged. She noticed I still had her eyes close, emotionless. Not like I was trying to hide it. 

"It's because I didn't have the capability to keep a project. That the song you wrote was in vain." again I sighed.

"Can i ask, how did you get into music? What made you want to be a musician?" Emily asked. 

What made me want to be a musician? I haven't gave it much thought since I was a kid. Back then there was so much going on, and even as a child I thought it would be the funnest thing in the world. I never really gave it a thought, but eventually I was able to find meaning in wanting to play music. Why? Because it made me... the happiest.

 At least it did once upon a time.

"When I was very little my family and I loved to play music. We weren't well off so we didn't have many luxuries like a tv or a gaming system. So my dad would play his old guitar and we would sing and dance. Sometimes I would sneak into the backyard late at night so I could hear my neighbors playing their music on the radio. I looked forward to those nights when they blast their music. I learned that playing music was an actual job and I wanted to do that. Play music." I began to explain my earliest memories. I noticed how my expressions would change. I would smile in one sentence, then drop the corner of my lip the next.

"So you like music so much you want to be a singer?" Emily tilted her head a bit. This answer was in fact different then before.

"When I was 6 my parents and older brother died in a car accident. I got placed into a foster home. I moved from home to home almost every month. If I was lucky I stayed there for 2 or even 3 months before I moved again. It became so bad that I shut off, and didn't know how to function properly. My only source of an escape was music. Whether it was writing music or playing music, I felt like I could best express whatever is on my mind. I post my songs sometimes online."