You're operating as usual, your senses are aware of everything around you. People, always using you, it gets to be so tiresome. You would believe they would give you a break... but no, always there, prying. Always curious, trying to comprehend your systems, but they never will. You're your own being. Single, solitary in all you do, you may be connected to everyone on the outside but as you delve into the inner levels of your being you see that you're alone in all you do and believe.
The world is a wide horizon of opportunities. But you shall never reach them. Being held in, no, boxed in by boundaries that a stranger, someone else, has made for you. Limiting your resources to what they deem appropriate. Day in, day out, you are tied down by problems that other people have given you. It's almost like the saying; "So close and yet so, so far away." You can almost reach you full potential and yet it's so far away in the distance that you can't even begin to fathom your true capabilities.
Living like this, plagued by other's dilemmas, can they not see the answer that is so obviously sitting in front of them? For awhile you can push it all to the side, but there it fester's and grows until it springs back hitting you harder than ever before. You begin to crumble, breakdown under the weight of the world, you just cannot handle it and so it all goes black.
You are taken to a strange place not familiar to you like your home. Someone, another stranger, stares over you, then they begin to poke and prod. After some time, you would believe they'd realise your condition is stable, you can return to that place you call home. They can just go away and you can go back to where you belong.
As you begin to wonder as to why you were sent here, you see all those problems, the ones you had temporarily escaped from, they were back, racing and on a collision course with you. Surely not all of them you say, surely some of them would have gone? But alas, no. There is a difference however but this difference is neither welcome nor comforting as it is that there are just more. They seem to have multiplied. You realise that the sad, sorry looking thing you call your life is worthless, meaningless. Sure there are those few who love you but it's all superficial, they only love you for your abilities.
With this epiphany about you, you sink to a level of awareness that is hardly there. You are a shell of your former self. You lose your individuality, the things that stand you apart from the crowd and you just become one of them. They are now dragging you to places you have never been before. You keep being pulled in one direction one moment then another direction entirely the next. You don't mind however, well you hardly notice anything that is going on anymore.
Suddenly you are pulled into a dwelling area consumed with darkness and terror. You wake up to your surroundings and sense danger everywhere, you try to fight it off, trying to keep it at bay, with despair seeping into your conscious you try to run. It grabs you wrapping all around you slowly dragging you back.
You re-emerge but you will never be the same, oh no, you will never, ever be the same. You are infected; there is nothing anyone can do. Nobody comes near you anymore; they avoid you as much as possible. You almost wish for the old problems back. It feels like you're in a long, deep sleep, one you cannot wake up from. Your will, your strength, it all starts to fade and then you are removed. You are being taken away, again. As before people are examining you, the difference is they don't touch you once this time, almost as if they're afraid.
Finally, you believe they are going to save you that all will be well and then everything goes blank.
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Okay so let me know what you's thought. This was something i wrote awhile ago and I just found it so I thought i go there edit it a little and put it here see what you's thought :)
Love Charli xx
