Sincerely, Mady.

12

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It had been a whole five days since I actually talked to Jack, tried to get his side of the story or anything. I didn't want to listen and I didn't want to hear. I just wanted to be alone in my room and not talk to anyone.

That's what I did. I sat in my dorm with my phone turned off and lied in bed all day long. I thought of what I was going to do, and then it came to me.The most neurotic, messed up way to end a relationship with someone you fell in love with.

You write a letter, wear something all black and leave it at their door step. Then it started, the hours of preparing the perfect letter that I would write to Jack. The one that explained the reasons why I had to do this, and why they were good reasons. Then I finally wrote a letter that felt like would be the letter that explains everything:

My love,

I'm sorry to do this, but I just can't do this anymore... It's better this way. You should know these past few months have been the happiest moments of my life. You did give me everything I ever wanted: passion, adventure and even a little danger. Most of all, you gave me a love that consumed me.

I'm doing this for you, not for me. Ever since Damen and Carrie came in, it's been so hard. I know this will make me look weak or not worthy of your love. When they did that, drugged you and tricked me, it made me realize that I am no good for you. You are better off without someone like me in your life. Someone with so much emotion baggage and past. There is a chance that if you stay with me, and I stay with you, you can get badly hurt and I couldn't stand that.

I know it will hurt you when you read this, but it's for the better. During fall break, I want you to have fun and don't gloat over me, because I'm OKAY. Tomorrow I will be leaving to go home for fall break, and you won't be able to see me for a while. I don't want to see you right after I give you this letter because I know I will break and jump right back to you and that can't happen.

You should know as I write this I can barely see because I am drowning in my own tears. I don't want to do this at all, but I have to. Maybe one day we'll come back to each other, maybe.

I don't deserve your love and you don't deserve to be physically hurt by my past.

This is goodbye....
I'm sorry Jack.. ..

Sincerely,
Mady.
I will always love you.

I walked up to the doorstep of his house. I couldn't help but wipe the tears that filled my eyes, and how I maybe did the worst good-bye in history.

My breath got caught in my throat when I laid the letter on the door mat. I breathed slowly before my twitching hand slowly rang the doorbell. I quickly walked down the steps and ran and hid behind the wall of the porch.

I waited until I heard the door close after he picked up the letter that had his name written on the front. I couldn't help but run away as fast as I could. I had to run.

Even though I could hear him calling my name in a distance I wouldn't turn back. I couldn't go back. I needed to fight the thoughts that made me want to jump in his arms.

Even in the moment when I believed he didn't cheat, I still knew that I needed to let him go.

But now only five words rest in my head:

I'm sorry, Jack.

Sincerely, Mady.

END OF BOOK ONE