The Rain Shouldn't Stop Us

Rain

To many people, May 17th, 1905 was just a date. To Norwegians, it was much more than that. It was a day of great honor and pride for their country. For Lukas Bondevik, it was freedom. True freedom from everything that he'd been through the last couple of centuries. Being put back and forth between two countries and people he believed to be friends. But still, that was in the past.

Of course, some parts of Lukas' old life remained. Specifically, Berwald Oxenstierna. During the union between the two nations, it seemed they grew closer to each other than ever before. Despite being forced into the union, it didn't stop romance from seeping into their hearts. During nights, Berwald would hold onto Lukas tightly. It made the Norwegian feel safe, and forget what had happened before the union. During the days, Lukas would do what he could to please the Swede and make him forget about the loss he'd suffered before.

But now, after the union was dissolved, they remained together. Berwald still held Lukas, but it felt different. Lukas still did what he could, but it wasn't the same. The two shared kind endearments with each other, but it didn't feel right anymore. The sweetness had gone bland. The warm feeling had gone cold. Neither felt for each other anymore, but for other people. They both knew it, but didn't say anything.

The day was like any other. It had started off with rain, sadly. Because of it, Lukas and Berwald had curled up onto the couch together. Neither spoke a single word. They'd never been one to speak much, anyway. Lukas felt the strong arms around him, and Berwald had his arms around the smaller male. A silence had fallen over them. Years ago, it would have been nice. Now, the silence was just plain awkward. Lukas had to say something. Small talk, at the very least. "Berwald... " Lukas said softly.

The Swede looked down at Lukas, his eyes slightly questioning. "Ja?"

Immediately, Lukas' words got jumbled up and he had to say something else. "Um... It's stopped raining... " He pointed out.

Berwald pulled away, looking through the open window from where he was. "I guess you're right.." He replied. Another silence fell between them, like toxic in the air that prohibited them from speaking. "Do you want to do something?" He asked, glancing over at Lukas. "We could go for a walk." The Swede suggested.

"Maybe. But it's still kind of cold outside. And, it might rain again." Lukas replied.

"True, but that hasn't ever stopped you before." Berwald pointed out, adjusting his glasses that were perched on the bridge of his nose.

"I know. But I don't really want to take the chance of wet by the rain. I'd rather just stay here... With you." The Norwegian said, saying the last part quieter and softer.

"Ja, staying here with you would be nice, too. It's... Safer. But we can't stay here forever." Berwald told him. He knew what he said was true.

"I know that, too." Lukas' voice trailed off and he averted his eyes to the floor. "Can I ask you a question?" He asked.

Berwald nodded slowly. "Go ahead."

"Do you love me?"

The question hit Berwald like a ton of bricks. He didn't know why it had the time affect. A while ago, he would have been able to answer without hesitation. Why was it so difficult now? The answer was clear, but Berwald didn't want to think of it.

Lukas waited for Berwald to answer, but there wasn't one. He took a deep breath. "I see.... " He said, taking a deep breath. "I expected as much."

Berwald's expression had softened slightly, and it looked somewhat regretful. "Lukas... " He began, but the Norwegian cut him off.

"It's okay. I know you have feelings for Tino. And I'm not sure if I love you anymore, either." Lukas admitted.

"Oh." Normally, words such as Lukas had said would hurt. But it didn't seem to have much of an affect. "And you still love Mathias?"

"I love him again. Yes, at one point, it was you. But once again, it's him." Lukas said in return. "You gave me everything that he didn't. Love and kindness seemed out of the question with his state of mind. But you. You were always kind."

"You were always there. Forever, you had been there. And you weren't scared; you didn't run. I know I first obtained you for one reason, but I know it ended up as more." Berwald looked at Lukas. He began to lean in slowly. Surely, one last kiss wouldn't hurt. Though he was interrupted by Lukas, who now held a finger up to the Swede's lips.

"No. You save your kiss for Tino. I'll save mine for Mathias. You have to find Tino and tell him how much you love him. I'll do the same for Mathias. We can leave for them now." Lukas replied, standing up.

Berwald stood up as well, looking over at the window again. "What about the rain?" He asked, looking down at the Norwegian.

"You can't really avoid the rain, sve. It's always going to be there. But we won't let it bother us anymore." Lukas said, heading out for the door, Berwald following close behind. They walked out onto the walkway together, saying quick goodbyes before leaving each other's paths to go find the ones that had truly taken their hearts.