WLW Angst Shortstorys

Fear-Short Story

They were dead. I knew it the second I entered the room. As the huge iron door closed behind my back I realized it would be the same for me sooner or later. There was no fear inside me and neither any trace of regret that I wouldn't see the bright light of the sun another time. All I felt was exhaustion and guilt, such a huge amount of guilt. "Too late, you were too late" the thought was ringing in my head slowly driving me crazy.l walked up to the three of them, my steps hallowing through the dark, wet room, getting eccoed by the walls. Silent tears found their way down my cheeks, bitter tears, made out of anger. And with them falling down, my steps filled the emptiness for some moments. "Click Clack, Click, Clack, Click..." and then I stood right in front of them. A small beam of light allowed me to see, what i rather would've never seen.

Cold eyes, wide opened in horror but without any life in them. These warm brown eyes that could glance at me mad, but still in the hardest times would become soft and warm, kind of like hot chocolate on a cold winters day. Leah was young, way too young, the youngest in our group. Only 14 and yet she had a fire burning inside her that I can not really explain. I would do anything to hear her yelling at me for something stupid once more, I would give anything to get the chance to say goodbye. "oh Leah, oh you stupid little lovely idiot" I heard my own voice whispering. It just happens without me knowing what I actually said out loud, but it wasn't like anyone would've heard me either ways right?

I kneeled down next to Leah's body, her eyes now staring into the void. I closed them, she deserved to rest in peace, this small girl that was as brave and smart and such a badass as I could never be. My heart clenched and something inside my chest tightened, as I saw how she laid in Miras arms,now already stiff and lifeless but sooner they must've been warm and calming. If I was reading this position right I could tell a few things about their last moments, the last moments of my two best friends. Mira was the oldest in the group and I never met someone who has a bigger and kinder heart than she has. Uhm. Had. She must've been there for the girl, must've protected her with nothing but her own arms, holding her close, keeping her safe, neglecting her own fear and pain just to make sure everyone else was doing ok.With Mira by her side it must've been easier for the young girl, that was a thought that made me happy for Leah, but as happy as I was for her, I knew that for Mira it must've been even more horrible. I thought about a saying that my teacher once quoted. "The kindest hearts will feel the most pain"

and in Miras case this saying was undeniable, it was a simple fact

Looking down at her there was something deep inside me, like an instinct, nothing that I would've thought about consciously, but before I even realized I was about to pull my arms around her and hold her close like she used to do for me whenever I was feeling sad or lonely or just confused. I wish I would have been able to do the same for her, this one time that she needed me. The moment that I figured once more that I have been a loser I jumped back from my attempt to pull Mira in my arms. She deserved better, of course she did, but it's not in my place to interrupt her rest

So I turned my back to them, staring into the empty room that was now filled with a brighter beam of the rising sun. Morning, it was turning morning. It was once our groups favorite time, chatting all night and cuddling up in the early hours.
Talking, laughing, crying together. I said goodbye to the two of my best friends, my soul sisters. However there was one body left, a little apart from the others I couldn't bring myself to turn my head towards HER, knowing what would await me. It wouldn't even be the same pain or sorrow that I felt with Leah or Mira, cause everything was different with her.

A flash through my mind, bringing me back into the past, into the best days of my short and probably pretty senseless life:

One of those nights. The nights that we would talk about when we would be old grumpy ladies one day.If I had to describe it with one word it would be something like peaceful, magical, or maybe just joy.We had a long talk and now we were watching the sunrise from outside, in the park
Leah already fell asleep, she seemed so peaceful and I knew I would protect her at all costs. Her face was not the nasty or mad or crazy one that she used to wear when she was awake. She was more of the child she should be, more vulnerable, but also less "trying to be tough " and all in all just more of the person I always saw in her.Mira looked at me and Cas who was  next to me. Somehow I felt like she knew. Her eyes looked at us in amusement. That was an assurance for me, Mira had this special ability, she didn't had to ask she just knew about how people around her feel. "l will bring Leah to bed, it'll take a while for you two huh?" she quickly said and wasn't able to hide the grin that was sneaking into her face. When she left I felt someone leaning against me, putting her head on my shoulder. Cassie. My heartbeat accelerated and my hands became sweaty. She mumbled something into my shoulder, a little sleepy and I smiled down at her:"What was that Cas? I don't speak tired-ish" I said to her playfully. She rolled her eyes but I could see the joy inside them. "l said. I am so so soooo cooold,but this sunrise is very beautiful so I don't wanna go yet." Yiiiikes this girl...
I opened my arms for her to get warm and as she sunk down in them I felt this sparking the air,or maybe I just am hopeful and imagined it? I tried to distract us both by teasing her a little more:" You are an idiot, you know that? " She stayed quiet for some time, then snuggled closer than she already was, burying her face in my chest. Then she responded hesitant, shyer than I ever heard her before:"Well uhhm I am only an idiot with you. And don't act as if you weren't as well!?"
The fact that she wasn't able to look at me in this moment because she was pressing her head against my chest was saving me from embarrassment,as I felt the heat rising into my head and my cheeks started burning. Blushing, I must be blushing. I am an idiot. yeah she had a point there. "Hey Cas..." I grabbed her chin and put it up so I was able to look into her eyes... " I would love seeing us beeing idiots together"
Fianally the word were out. She smiled and suddenly I forgot about the sunrise I once wanted to watch, I had something way better to look at now. Green orbs, soft and so familiar but still so much to discover in them. The light green that was sprinkled with darker accents, reminding me of the grass in summer. Eyes are the mirror to your soul thev say...