The Cold Recesses of our Minds

8

The entire town was dead with silence and cool breeze. I sat on the couch in the main house for the officers. Lipton had gone to bed while Winters and Nixon sat waiting up for the night mission to go across the river.
When they go over, we all will know. I pick up my helmet and stand up from the couch, which gives a metallic groan as I do. I walk out of the room and back outside. I see the men getting ready as they bring the small boats to the shore of river. I walk quickly to the building in which Liebgott and other men will shoot if things go to shit.

I try to be as silent as possible but my body is taxed from the pain in my chest. I think it will get infected if I don't get it checked. My hand creeps up to my chest and I feel the padding and bandages on my chest. I stop by the steps to the building and sit. I'm cold and tired and dying. Why am I even here? I could have stayed and gone home, but I chose to stay. For what? I close my eyes on the step but when I do the images of war comes slowly into view, not just Bastogne. D-Day, the French children blown to bits, the screaming faces of my comrades and the disappointment on Winters face when he had covered up my body. I clench my fist and slowly get up off the stone steps. I should go home but I came here for a reason. I am a woman and I wanted more than just an average life.

I walk up the rest of the steps and into the building. My mind stills as I walk up the staircase. I hear the men shuffling silently in anticipation. As soon as I get up to the top I hear the an explosion and screams echo across the river. I rush to a window and see smoke from the explosion. The scene in front of me looks almost painted. The Germans that the men took are yelling and someone drops one of the germans and leaves him on the bank of the river. I turn away from the window at this point. I need to get away from the noise, I rush out of the house and hear voices come from the river. I take cover outside by the stairs. I cover my ears and feel pain ripping through my chest. I'm not sure if its because of the wound or my soul being torn in two. 

I'm not sure how I get into my room in the first house but I do. I remember falling asleep on my bed and when I woke up I was here. I move my hair from my face as I crawl out of bed. My body is tired but there is less pain in my chest now. I notice my boots are off my feet and my jacket is no longer wrapped snug around my body. I stand up and hear the wood floor groan. I crack my neck and see my coat on the edge of my bed. I put it on and find my boots near the door. I slip my feet in and tie up the laces. My fingers work hard and are extremely weak. I sigh as I stand up straight and walk to the door, which creaks as I open it. I walk out into the dusty and cold hallway. I tighten my jacket and close the door behind me. I walk through the hall and to the stairs of the building.

Downstairs I can hear Winters and Nixon speaking to what sounds like Colonel Sink. I hold my breath as I walk down the stairs. As I see the large room at the bottom come into view everyone becomes silent. I stiffen as I walk but otherwise I don't react.  Lipton is on the couch again and Spiers is near the door. Colonel Sink looks to Winters and nods before leaving. I stop at the bottom of the steps and watch as he leaves out the door. When he does Speirs follows him.

"I better go see how the men are doing this morning," Nixon blurts out an excuse and also leaves the house. 

"I should go see if I can go get some water heated or something," Lipton gets up and lets out a cough. He stumbles out of the room and out the front door. Silence fills the room as I stand staring at Winters who returns the stare. Neither of us move or open our mouths. We just stand there. He must have told them. They are going to send me home and I am going to go back to the same house and same town and no one will know. I clear my throat to speak but Winters cuts me off.

"You're being transferred," He says formally.

"Where?" I snap.

"Where ever they need you." He takes a step forward. I walk up to him quickly.

"Did you tell them?" I look him straight in the eyes. He looks back up at me with complete seriousness.

"No." 

I step back and let out a breath. I run my hand through my hair and look at the ground.

"However, I told them about your mental state, but also about your talent and that you need time out of action." He speaks slowly.

"No, no no, I can't leave these men, you can not let them take me where ever please," I plead. I feel tears come up to my eyes.

"I'm sorry, but.." 

"Richard, please, you owe me, I saved your ass from getting blown to shreds, you owe me." I snap at him. He narrows his eyes and looks at me. He closes his eyes for a few seconds before opening them and stiffening.

"If you want to stay then I respect that Captain, but you have to promise me, one day you will tell them who you really are." He says as he walks away. I keep facing forward with a small smile on my lips. I hear the door open.

"Sometimes you don't have to tell someone something for them to already know." He says as he shuts the door.