Jensoo- Love Inevitably

"The Universal Unnie"

FLASHBACK
HOURS EARLIER

LISA's POV

"Lisa?" I heard a voice from behind called me which snapped me back to reality. I turned to her and saw Irene Unnie, getting out of her car as she park outside Jen's house.

"Lisa what are you doing outside?"

"Jeez it's cold here, come with me, let's get you warm up" she uttered worriedly while she puts her cardigan on my shoulder and wraps it all around me, giving me instant warmth against the coldness of the morning breeze.

I stared at my house a little longer for one last time when Irene Unnie held my hand and spoke.

"Sweetie, you know it's not healthy for you anymore." she said with such sadness in her tone as she stare intently at me which I tried to avoid.

"I know Unnie. But I can't help it." I uttered sadly at her with my eyes still fixed at the house that I used to call home.

"Everyday I have to convince myself that they're really gone."

"But I just can't Unnie."

" Cause a part of my heart still lingers to them. And I can't help but stand here, hoping and thinking that my Mom is still alive. That she's just inside that house and one day, she'll come out and get me here." I confessed as bead of tears start to well up in my eyes.

"Lisa you know it's not right. It's never right holding on to something that will never come back." Irene uttered softly as she wipe my tears with her thumbs and stared intently at me.

"You have to move forward Lisa. Do it at least for the people you care about." she continued but I shook my head and smiled bitterly.

" It's easy for others to say that Unnie."

"It's easy to say that I have to swallow it up so I could finally heal and move on but no one ever truly know how terrifying and hard it is."

"God knows, I tried."

"It's like reliving your trauma over and over and everyday I have to wake up from this nightmare and do it all over again."

"This is not a fuckin one way ticket that once you acknowledge it, everything will be alright and all of your wounds will heal cause it don't." I said bitterly which stunned Irene for a moment.

"I never wanted to be this miserable Unnie."

"God knows how I begged and wanted for this pain to be over cause to be honest I don't even know if I could ever heal from this one."

"It's really hard for a child to lose a parent. But it's the hardest when you know you lost them and it's all because of you."

"It's like a wound that will never heal and there's a hole in your heart that will never be filled and you're left with no choice but to carry on with life never knowing when will the emptiness ever go away."

"You just hope and believe that after years and decade there will no longer be trace of pain and regret cause maybe finally, you were able to move on and have your own life."

"But when  Christmas comes, or when it's your birthday or when you suddenly smell her perfume or taste her favorite juice, or you suddenly saw the place that you and your parents used to go, with out warning, their memories will suddenly hit you like a painful blow in your chest."

"It's overwhelming that you won't notice that you're already crying in the middle of the street or in that fuckin the highway begging for those memories to go away."