Story of my life ▽・x・▽

My Haiku Addiction

Hamburgers can talk.
"I used to be a cow once."
Yup. Talking burger.

Haikus are quite fun.
But they always end up dumb.
Wow. That almost rhymed.

What am I doing?
These haikus don't even make sense.
Refrigerator.

Ya see what I mean?
I am ruining my life.
STOP MAKING HAIKUS!

I guess I can't stop.
Can't stop like Miley Cyrus.
Like you know, the song.

This is my sixth one.
Why do I keep making them?
I am so confused.

I keep complaining.
Yet I still keep making them.
What is wrong with me.

I'm on number eight.
I seriously can't stop.
Ugh. Must. Keep. Typing.

I should really stop.
But my fingers keep typing.
Because we caaaaaaaant stoooooooop.

And no we won't stoooooooop.
This dumb song is in my head.
Miley should be dead.

Sorry Miley fans.
If your mad I'm sorry,but
I bet you sang that.

Was I actually right?
Did you sing that in your head?
I'm victorious.

I just realized.
I have continued to type.
Wow. I'm so stupid.

I know what is wrong.
I'm addicted to haikus.
Alligator fudge.

The've taken over.
My life is destroyed by them.
I have to fix this.

I must find the witch.
She is imaginary.
So it can't be hard.

-eight minutes later-
"Bertamus! I need your help!"
(She is Bert for short)

"Whaddya want dumb but?"
"Hey! I have invented you!
You better be nice."

"Whatever. What's wrong?"
"I can't stop writing haikus!"
"Oh my! I can see!"

"What! What's wrong with me?"
"You might have haikutosis!"
"Oh no? What's the cure?"

"There's only one cure."
"Come on! Tell me! What is it?"
"You're gunna hate this."

-magical time skip-
"Ew! Ew! Ew! Am I done yet?!"
"Only one more dunk."

Glad that that's over.
My head is tired of toilets.
Wait. More haikus?

"Bertamus! You suck!"
"Bertamus you get back here!"
"You fix me right now!"

Maybe I can't stop.
I'm cursed like this forever.
Or that witch is dumb.

I like the latter.
"Witch! I will kill you badly!"
"You better watch out!"

That is my story.
How I got haikutosis.
Time to say good night.

The End!