Regret and Acceptance

Fear and panic spread throughout my whole body, sweat is dripping, my hands are shaking, heart is pumping and my head is throbbing. I've made a big mistake, a big one; I- I don't want to end my life... right here, right now. Please, someone help me, I don't want to die just yet I thought as I strengthen the grip of both my hands holding onto the rope.

Blood slowly crawled down the rope and around my neck. Blood!? Where the fuck is that coming from!? I haven't had any wounds on me! What the fuck!? Tears started to drip down on both of my cheeks as I paniced. With the strength left within in me, I looked up to see where the blood was coming from – though the sight was not clear – I saw my nails separate from my fingers, they slowly opened up and moved away from the flesh that they were attached to.

Pain was non-existent... until the moment I saw my nails fall down to the floor...

 "AAAAAARRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!! HEEEELLPP! SOOOMEEOONEEE!!! ANYONEEEE!! ARRRGGGHHHH!" 

I shouted and cried out hoping for someone to hear my agonized voice and aid me. Minutes had past and no one came; my hands are still holding onto the rope – tied up on a big log – blood continued to drip from my fingers and the separating of my finger nails never came to an end – 3 nails are still connected to my fingers on my left hand and 1 on the other.

I wanted to cry, I really do but tears were no longer coming out.

"I I- don't want to die just yet this is all a mistake... I still haven't made my parents proud..." blood started to drip down to the floor "...my college life is just about to begin... Why did I do this? Why?" I spoke with a coarse and faint voice.

"It is less painful to let go than to keep on holding" her voice echoed inside my head.

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"Hah" you're right... I then opened my hands and accepted my faith. A tug was felt around my neck – though due to the numbness of my body I barely felt it but –; it was both painful and itchy. 

Every time the clock ticks it was getting harder to breath, within these few moments of my life, all I can see is her, the woman that gave color to my monochrome life... but color – through time – will eventually fade.

Once I stopped to struggle, darkness surrounded my eyesight and pain ceases to exist...

but regret still lingers...