My Christmas Wish

Meredith witnesses Derek's tactlessness with Addison and has had enough so she steps in and saves her. For Meddison Christmas in July Exchange. Bits from Season 2 with my own twist. Light Smut.  Prompt: Angst (w a bit of explicit romance if possible)

My Christmas Wish

He stood her up and she knew it. They were supposed to meet at noon. It was already 1:45 p.m. which clearly meant she had been stood up. Her mind kept bringing up memories from New York. The missed birthdays, anniversaries, and holidays like today. Maybe she had been too forward when asking to rip off that bandaid. Maybe she had scared him away. They had wanted to try or at least she thought he was ok with trying.

The loud horn from the ferry passing by startled her. She looked at her watch once more. She had called him but as always he had not picked up so she thought maybe she should just show up, so off to the hospital she went. She found him walking out of the scan room.

"Derek." She called and was met by guilty eyes.

"Addison. Sorry, I have a patient." Derek said as if she already didn't feel like sloppy seconds.

"You could have called." Addison said calmly. Her voice was even and devoid of any anger because she did understand, she was a doctor too.

"I don't need snappiness right now Addison. This case is important." He snapped.

"I wasn't... if you want we could do dinner and then go home? Maybe at Nancy's? I can make a reservation." She suggested attempting a smile.

"Fine. Make the reservation. I have to go." Derek said and with that was off.

Addison hadn't noticed that in the scan room there was someone else until she looked in and saw the intern writing on the chart. Of course Meredith was there. Though she looked as miserable as she felt. She wasn't sure if that was what made her walk to her or what but she still did.

"Didn't expect you to be here, Grey." Addison said softly as she stood at the doorway. "I thought you'd be celebrating with your friends. God knows you all deserve it." She smiled.

"I don't do holidays. Guess it runs in the family." Meredith said a bit bitterly but with a smile. At that Addison turned to look at the way Derek had just left.

"Yeah I think that's starting to run in my family too." Addison said sadly and turned to look at her. She could see the sadness swirling in those baby blue eyes and needed to go. "I uh... I should go." She said quickly and started to turn.

"Right. I have to go check on my patient." Meredith said, collecting the chart. "Dr. Montgomery-Shepherd?" She called.

"Hmm?" Addison faced her once more.

"I'm sorry. I hope you have a nice thanksgiving day though." Meredith smiled at her letting some brightness in.

She wasn't used to those smiles from Meredith Grey but she felt her heart somersault at that. She felt the heat on her cheeks spread as the intern walked past her with her smile, the light scent of lavender filling her senses. She was confused by the reaction but then she was starved from attention or any sort of interaction really. That's why she had reacted that way. Right?

***

She watched Izzie storm away from Addison and could also see how much it had pained the attending to do what she had done. Their eyes met briefly before she started looking everywhere but at her. However, it seemed Addison had something to say.

"Dr. Grey uh you... well I... uh..." Addison tried but it seemed her words were failing, which was completely bizarre to Meredith.

"I know why you did what you did, Dr. Montgomery-Shepherd." Meredith said quietly.

"You do?" Addison asked.

"Yes and I sorta understand why. Izzie has always been quick to develop relationships with patients. While that's good it's also bad because she doesn't know how much closeness is too much. I think if she keeps going she'll end up with more baggage than she can carry." Meredith reasoned. "So even if it was pretty harsh it's a part of the job we'll need to learn to deal with."

"Yeah... will she be ok though?" Addison asked and Meredith noticed her concern laced tone.

"We'll make sure she is." Meredith smiled a bit, trying to reassure the somewhat distraught redhead.

They were quiet a while before Addison cleared her throat and spoke again.

"So the co-bedding..." Addison began.

"I'm sorry. I should've asked but you were home. The SATs look good and are holding steady." Meredith said quickly, a bit afraid to have had overstepped.

"I was going to say... good job." Addison smiled that sweet sweet and gentle smile. "Oh and for what is worth, which given who I am to you is probably not much, I'm proud of you Grey." She said, her smile growing timid and the brightness in her green eyes dimming.

"It means a lot." Meredith said quickly and smiled back.

"That's good. Have a nice night Dr. Grey." Addison said brightly and with that she left, a spring on her step.

Meredith stared after her, confused by the way her heart had fluttered along with the tickling in the pit of her stomach when the redhead had said she was proud. And then there was also that smile, a smile that brightened her whole face. The way her heart was beating and the sudden excitement baffled her a bit but then she thought about how lonely she was feeling. How she had been abandoned by pretty much everyone she had dared to love, her mother, her father, Derek. If Derek said he was proud she'd react like that wouldn't she?

***
***

Meredith had watched her the whole day walking up and down the halls with her nose stuck in a catalog. Had watched Derek's complete and utter disregard for her. She seemed so excited, not as much as Izzie had been but excited. Yet Derek took no mind of it and kept on dismissing Addison.

Somehow that whole thing irked her, which, again, confused her. She should be happy that their marriage wasn't working. All of this meant she'd have him in the end but she wasn't happy at all, she was mad. She was upset over how he was treating Addison. She had witnessed the smile and sparkles in her eyes disappear every time she went to speak to him. It pissed her off quite a lot. Addison didn't deserve that. Actually Derek didn't deserve her.

"Earth to Meredith." Cristina called and snapped her fingers in front of her face.

"What?" Meredith's tone was bitter.

"Damn. What crawled up your ass?" Cristina rose a brow.

"Sorry." Meredith mumbled.

"What's so interesting about the She-Shepherd?" Cristina asked following her line of sight.

"It's just... he's such a jackass." Meredith frowned.

"I was asking about her, not McDreamy." Cristina titled her head.

"I know. He's being a jackass to her. I mean don't get me wrong I don't do holidays but she was so happy and then he went and took her happy away." Meredith huffed.

She kept her eyes on Addison across the cafeteria as she spoke. She sat there alone as always, which seemed so weird to Meredith. Addison was pretty awesome. She knew this even with how little they had interacted and yet there sat the redhead, alone. If she didn't hate Meredith, as she should for being the mistress, she would sit with her.

"Why are you so angry over McHot not being happy?" Cristina eyes suspiciously. "Meredith are you..."

"I don't know, I just... it just makes me mad." Meredith said and got up.

"Hey, where are you going?" Cristina asked.

"I'm going to the nursery. I need to chill." Meredith said and was off.

***

Addison poked absentmindedly at her salad as she watched the clearly upset intern storming out of the cafeteria. For a moment she wondered what was wrong but ultimately let the blonde slip from her mind as she thought back to her... she wasn't sure what he was to her anymore.

Derek kept saying he didn't want to leave. Kept on telling her he wanted to fix things but she didn't feel like he wanted anything to do with her. He was with her, yes, in the sense that they slept next to each other, rode to work together, sometimes brushed their teeth next to each other, and shared at least one meal together, but nothing else. Derek and her had become pretty much roommates. She had thought that back at New York things were bad. They had been, of course, their situation had edged her to Mark's open and willing arms.

Now, though, now she had a ghost of a marriage. It was as if the only reason they slept next to each other was to keep appearances. They were slowly becoming the same thing her mother and father were, which had always scared her to death. They had both cheated and yet here they were still together. He had to be the good guy. The one to sacrifice to make her happy but this wasn't happy. This was torture. They were stuck. She thought it might be time to cut their losses and move on.

But she loved him, right? She should try. At least one last time. For old times sake she should try. They had been married for almost 11 years. Maybe he needed some more time. Maybe in the spirit of Christmas he'd actually try a bit more. He had a tough case today and she knew that. Maybe once he was out of the hospital. Maybe after the surgery they'd talk and she'd get back to having her excited over anything Santa husband. Maybe they'd be back to being Derek and Addison. Maybe just maybe she just had to hang on. Maybe...

***

She hadn't always but now she hated the holidays and hated when people preached about it being a time to be together. A time when families stuck together and were supposed to be happy. That was a load of bull.

Meredith was pissed. She had Izzie who had decorated and decorated and talked so much about the spirit of giving and yet she was mad they were helping Alex. Then she had Derek throwing her puppy eyed looks all the while ignoring and dismissing his wife. The wife he had chosen to stay with.

The more she thought about it the more she convinced herself that Addison showing up was the best thing that could've happened. If that's the way he treated his wife, what was she to expect in a few years? He had told her the reason why Addison had cheated and she had still felt bad. She had still thought it had been an exaggeration. But the way he had been lately with Addison even after choosing her told her he had actually put it mildly. It still baffled her how he could have Addison and ignore her the way he did.

She was getting ready to leave. She needed away from the hospital and Derek and his gorgeous and depressed wife. Yet she didn't want to go home. Not to Izzie and the other puppy eyed guy in her life, George. Cristina had gone with Burke and Alex needed to focus so she went off alone to Joe's. Some tequila for Christmas didn't sound half bad.