Her World

Chapter Five

Chapter 5

I jump up straight in bed the cold air hitting my body as soon as some of my quilt sides off me, ugh that wasn’t a good idea my head is pounding. Slowing looking round the room I notice it’s still dark but the birds chirping outside affirm that’s it the morning. The clock reads 5:37am, I can still get at least an hour and half more sleep. I throw my head back down on my warm pillow, pull the quilt so it’s right under my chin and close my eyes.

What is wrong with my bed?! I try shifting to the left and then the right. Why can’t I get comfortable? That's it I give up, obviously somebody hates me today and doesn’t want me to sleep.  I tiredly climbed out of bed, letting my feet hit the chilly wooden floor. I really regret having laminate flooring in my room.

When we moved into this house, we got the choice of that flooring we wanted. We had always been made to have carpet in our room. When I told my mom I wanted laminate flooring she was against it, telling me what I wasn’t a good idea and ‘you’ll regret it, believe me I’m always right’. After days of nagging she finally gave in, though two days later and I hated it. It was always cold, plus me being me I’m very clumsy so I would always spill some kind of drink then end up on my backside. I would never admit it to my mom what she was right, oh no she would have a field day gloating about how she was right, and nobody’s got time for that.

Glancing at the clock I now realise its 5:52am. As its dark I flick the light on and walk over to the mirror dreading what the person looking back at me looks like.

It’s even worse than I thought; my brown hair still damp lying flat to my head, two dark grey rings surrounding my eyes. For the first time I become aware that my once bright hazel eyes look dim, those eyes that once sparkled now look vacant. My skins still red but not as raw looking, I run my fingers up and down my left arm feeling a burning sensation where my fingers trail. My eyes start to sting, blinking I let the cool tears run down my face for the 100th time in the last 24 hours. I can’t to look at myself any longer; I grab my dressing grown and proceed to the bathroom.

As soon as I shut the bathroom door, all the emotion from yesterday hits me. The cream towel that had my blood on has now been removed. The bathroom used to be a place to relax, get away from stress, that’s why I asked my dad to paint it a bright pure colour. But now I look around, the room seems smaller, darker and eerie. I quickly do what needs to be done wanted to get out of this dim place.

I slip back into my bedroom. I slide my dressing grown off placing it on the back of my door, then heading over to my dresser to get some under wear. Taking a deep breath, I change into my underwear and straight into my worn out jeans. Looking through my wardrobe I come across my old favourite top, it was blue with ‘I heart New York’ in white writing. I used to wear this top all the time, it was really in fashion I begged my mom for it, she was all too happy to buy it for me.

It was in fashion after all, I can’t help but laugh at the memory she was so happy. She then took me into other shops picking out more girly clothes for me, I just agreed to them seeing her smile at something I did was amazing. I wore it nearly all the time begging my mom to hurry up and wash it as soon as it went in the wash. Well that was until Karla told me it made me look like an elephant. As soon as those words left her mouth my heart sank, I never did wear it again but it made me feel so guilty about my mom. I know she was upset I never wore it again but never questioned me on it.

Skipping past it, I went onto my normal jumpers. Today I went for a plain long black woolly jumper, I felt like something dark as it reflected my mood. Now that my body was entirely covered, I ran a brush through my hair then scrapping it back into a messy bun. It actually looked stylish for once even though it was meant be tidy. Well at least something was going right for me today, now time to start on the disaster people call a face. Squeezing a ton of foundation on my hand, I get my sponge and rub it all my face trying to make the bags under my eyes disappear.