VOIX

CHAPTER 1

"You are a beautiful person...inside and out", he whispered, while pulling up his grey trousers. He kissed me on the forehead. Then, he slowly sat up in the bed and looked back at me with a smile. The moonlight pierced the thick darkness of the room and that was how I saw his smirk. He got up and walked to the bathroom, which was on the other side of the room, and closed the door. I just laid limped, with tears strolling down the sides of my face, staring at the dim white ceiling, and just realizing how chilly the atmosphere was. I was so occupied a few minutes before that I had not realized how cold the room was. The temperature made me shiver. It was not solely cold physically but emotionally. What just happened made my heart ache. I laid on my back and turned my head to the left, where the bedside table was situated. I silently counted the dim images of books I saw on the table. "One, two, three, four, five, six, sev....". I was interrupted by the opening sound of the bathroom door. My heart began racing once more, because I knew his presence would make me devastated again! He climbed the bed and laid next to me and adjusted the pillow under his head to make him more comfortable. I turned myself to the right, where there was the cold, white, concrete wall.

Then I heard the question, "Leah, are you ok?", but I just did not have the strength to answer. I felt weak, wrecked, broken and terribly sad, but there were no more tears left to cry. I felt his warm breath against my neck as he drew his body close to mine. Subsequently, his hand was around my waist and we were laying in an intimate position. I held my breath for a while, to not smell him but how long could I? Then I heard the question again, "Leah, are you ok?" I remained silent. "Leah? Leah? Leah? Leah?". Then I stopped hearing my name. I felt him unwrap his arms from around me and then I heard him get up from the bed, then footsteps and then a door opened. I sat up slowly for the first time in what seemed like hours and saw the room door opened and then I realized he had left the room.

I left the bed slowly and walked to the bathroom in pain. I had a strange feeling as my inner thighs, groin and womanhood hurt. I bent down slightly to pull my underwear from my ankles to my hips. I ached. I went to the bathroom to pass urine and it burned. Using the toilet felt like I had gotten a bee sting below. I left the bathroom, then the bedroom and walked the hallway to the kitchen. There he sat around the dining table, with his head in his hands, seemingly distraught. I walked to the table slowly and then he looked up at me. I saw his tears and I felt sympathy. Sympathy? Surprisingly! Sympathy? How revolting of me!

I sat on the opposite side of the table, facing him and for a few minutes, we sat in silence. I watched him silently sobbing and my sympathy grew with each passing second. Unbelievable! How could I feel sorry for someone who had just hurt me...hurt me greatly! I found the pain he portrayed to be unbearable and it was instinctive to comfort him. Instinctive? Yes, instinctive! I was someone who received contentment when I helped others...and I still am. I had a moment of self-conflict. I wondered for a few seconds if he was being deceitful to make me feel sad for him, but I also felt scared. I was worried about his health.

He had a history of respiratory complications and accelerating distress was not beneficial. While, I was in the battle of my thoughts, I heard him gasp. Then I realized, he was breathing heavily, and it seemed he was having a struggle. I ran to the counter, grabbed a cup and filled it with water from the tap. Then I gave him the cup and watched him drinking slowly. "Deep and gentle breaths", I told him, while I removed the cup from his hand. I placed the cup on the table, and I returned to the chair where I was seated previously. "Why do I keep hurting the people I love?", I heard him mutter, while wiping his eyes. I remained silent. He repeated the question, but the second time, he sounded more pitiful.

I was still concerned for his health. "Liam, remember your health. Please.", were the only words that escaped my lips.