You told me once that I should leave when it's already toxic. You told me before that once I start feeling drained out of loving you I should not think twice to turn my back and walk away. You told me back then that I should distant myself once I've given too much, once I've done enough.
And so I did, because I felt like I was too selfless not to care about myself the whole time that I was busy loving you. I was too busy showering you with everything I have that I no longer saw how small of a portion was left for myself.
I was too scared to lose you, so I shed you my light even if It's already insufficient to sustain myself. I burned myself just to bring your dark life to light.
I loved you, more than how I loved myself. The only tragic thing is that it will never be enough. My everything, my all, it wasn't enough. I am not enough.
I guess I was too desperate to get to you. I was too reckless to love you relentlessly while slowly losing myself along the process. I broke my heart so bad while I was trying to heal yours.
Loving you while hurting myself was my biggest mistake yet it was the kind of mistake that I will never regret. Because loving you taught me how to love myself first before loving someone else.
And so I left, not because it's no longer convenient but because you told me to put myself first.
-I burned myself to shed you light
by Angelica Espinas
[Nonsensical 🍀]
