Memories

Chapter 1

'You see!' I said, glaring at Remus. 'She still wants to marry him, even though he's been bitten. She doesn't care!'

'It's different,' Remus said, barley moving his lips. He was looking suddenly tense, I knew this was not the best way to try and get him to listen but it might be the only way. 'Bill will not be a full werewolf. The cases are completely -'

He is still acting as if I truly care about what he is saying. We have had this argument so many times and he continually tells me he cannot be with me, always rushing off to complete some important mission always telling me that he was not right for me when he was the one person I actually wanted in my life.

'But I don't care either, I don't care!' I almost yell seizing the front of his robes and shaking them. 'I've told you a million times...'

'And I've told you a million times,' Remus said, whilst refusing to meet my eyes content with staring at the floor, 'that I am too old for you, to poor ... too dangerous ...'

It was exactly what he had told me every time before, and every single time I had told him it didn't matter all I wanted was him. I just wanted to be with the man I had fallen in love with. Why couldn't he understand that.

'I've said all along your taking a ridiculous line on this, Remus,' said Molly Weasley, turning herself to look over Fleur's hunched body as she patted her on the back.

'I am not being ridiculous,' Remus said. 'Tonks deserves somebody young and whole.'

'But she wants you,' said Arthur, with a small smile. 'And after all, Remus, young and whole men do not necessarily remain so.' He gestured sadly to his son.

'This is ... not the moment to discuss it,' said Remus, avoiding everybody's eyes as he looked around. 'Dumbledore is dead ...'

'Dumbledore would have been happier than anybody to think that there was a little more love in the world,' said Minerva McGonagall. Just then the doors to the hospital wing opened and Hagrid walked in. His face, the parts not obscured by beard or hair, was soaking and swollen; he was shaking with tears, a vast spotted hankercheif in his hand.

'Ive ... I've done it, Professor,' Hagrid choked. 'M - moved him. Professor Sprout's got the kids back in bed. Professor Flitwick's lyin' down but he says he'll be alright in a jiffy, an' Professor Slughorn says the Ministry's bin informed.'

' thank you, Hagrid,' said Professor McGonagal, standing up at once and turning to look at the group around Bill's bed. 'I shall have to see the Ministry when they get here. Hagrid please tell the Heads of House - Slughorn can represent Slytherin that I want to see them in my office forthwith. I would like you to join us too.'

As Hagrid shuffled out the room, she turned her attention to Harry.

'Before I meet them I would like a quick word with you Harry. If you'll come with me.'

Harry murmured something as he left with Professor McGonagal. And then their was silence. Broken only by the occasional sniffle coming from someone around Bill's bed.

I started to stand up wanting to leave and find somewhere quiet in the castle where I could go over my thoughts. Maybe somewhere I could think of some way to convince Remus that I truly didn't care about how old he was or how much money he had. I didn't even care that he was a werewolf, there were ways we could manage his condition. I just wanted him to understand that I loved him.

I leave the hospital wing and find an empty classroom. I sit down and one of the desks and reflect on one night between me and Remus over a year ago. We had been laying in hiding outside a Death Eaters house, after about a year of our friendship. I made a remark about Sirius, not really thinking about it ('He's still handsome, isn't he, even after Azkaban?'). Remus had replied bitterly that ('He always got the women.'). I had gotten angry at him, I didn't understand how he could be stupid. I told him 'You'd know perfectly well who I've fallen for, if you weren't too busy felling sorry for yourself.' I didn't understand how he didn't realise that I loved him. He had pretended that he didn't know what I was talking about but I knew he did.

Then he started volunteering for dangerous missions, I stared to worry that he would rather die than accept his feelings for me, that he never wanted to spend time with me again. And yet we had ended up here, with the most humiliating public announcement of my love for Remus, only to have him reject me and his feelings again.

I was pulled from my thoughts by a knock on the door of the classroom. It was him wasn't it. I knew before I turned around that it would be Remus, the exact person I was sat in this classroom thinking about.

'Hello Tonks,' he said slowly, as if unsure what to say or if he should even be there.

'Hi.' I mumble back. I'm not in the mood currently to talk to any one let alone Remus. Especially after the way he had publicly told me, after the many private conversations, that he would not stop taking the ridiculous ground that because he was poor or older than me, or even that he was a werewolf, that it meant I could not possibly love him. For I did.

'I just wanted to ...' he falters as if all word have disappeared, 'I just wanted to tell you that I'm sorry. I didn't realise just how much leaving you like this would affect you. I expected you to be fine, maybe not at first but after a few weeks maybe months you would have gotten over me. I see however this did not happen. And I know that it is no consolation after the ordeal I put you through, and although I still stand by my beliefs that I am too old and poor, and dangerous for you, I can no longer ignore the fact that I love you. I was an idiot to leave the way I did, and I know that you can no longer trust me, but after you announcement in the hospital wing I can't help but wonder if there might be some hope for us. If you would be able to love me the way I have finally admitted to myself that I love you.'

He finishes talking and stares not quite at me just to the left of my head. I want to run to him to embrace him and kiss him forever, but I am held back by the lingering feeling of rejection. I had spent an entire year trying to get Remus to open up to me about his feelings and to try and get him to understand how I felt. And now that I had gone and proclaimed my love for him in front of everyone he was finally ready to tell me that he loved me.

'Remus ... I do love you, but I have spent the last year trying to get you to understand that, and all you have done is reject me. All I wanted was you, I told you so many times that I didn't care, all I wanted was you.'

'I know that now, and I don't expect you to trust me or delve right into a relationship with me, but maybe we could take it slow and see what happens.'

'I want a relationship, that's all I have wanted all year and yet all you have done was push me away. I need to think about everything.'

'I understand. I'll leave you alone to think.' He said turning to walk out of the classroom.

'Remus, wait!' I call out, he turns slightly back towards me, and without warning I am running between the tables making my way towards the man I love. I crash into him with such force that he has to grab the door frame to stop us both falling over, and smash my lips on his. After a few seconds he starts to pull away from me.

'I thought you wanted to think about everything,' he said, the hint of a smirk forming on his lips.

'That was stupid. I've already decided,' I say wrapping my arms around his neck. 'I love you and I want to be with you.'

A/N: I am already really enjoying writing this.

This story will be heavily influenced by the Harry Potter book series and any other sources written by J.K.Rowling. All characters are made by her and I take no credit for them. (I don't support J.K.Rowling with anything she says that is not to do with the Harry Potter universe, and I do not support her with any of the transphobic things she has said)