Mistaken Sunshine

Dreamy much?

“Why did you bring me here?” I asked.

We were out of the building after our dinner. We either held hands under the table or just found the stupidest excuse to touch each other but we didn’t keep our hands to ourselves. It felt nice, warm and, somehow…..safe.

His hand were holding mine, lightly, as we walked and joked around about literally nothing. Everytime he laughed, I felt a kick in my gut because my hands were too weak to pull out my phone click a picture. I loved to imagine his smile in a sweet picture like that. I would always look at it and he was holding my hand when we took this or he was laughing at my joke when we were walking around. The thought of us, made me snake my arm around his and rest my head on his shoulder to feel the warmth of his smell.

“This is nice,” he said as he pulled away his hand and slid around my waist inside my coat. He left a kiss on the top of my head.

“Can I take you somewhere now?” I looked up at him with curiosity.

“What? Now?” he said looking down at me for a second and then away.

“Yes!”

“But it’s almost midnight, love. I don’t know if that’s a good idea.”

“I love this place! I know that you’ll love it too! Please?” I stood in front of him with joined hands.

He laughed at me and then said, “do we need the car?”

“No…we’ll walk,” I said.

He held up his hands, gesturing me to snuggle in and we walked along to the place I was talking him to. The smile on my face now is the second best thing I’ve ever been proud of for feeling.

I love the feeling I get when I smile, it feels like all the insides in me is like flowers and sunshine!

“So…what do you fear the most?” I asked him, out of the blue.

“What?”

“Do you have any fears?”

“Of course, I do. I’m a human, love.”

“Debatable,” I said.

He gave me the sarcastic stink eye for a second and looked up at the sky as he lost himself in deep thoughts and me in him; observing every little detail of him patiently like he was a poem that I had to memorize. He would be that romantic poem where the poet talks about how he can’t believe he’s walking with something as beautiful as the universe itself.

“I’m scared of….falling?”

“What do you mean ‘falling’? Like falling and hitting your head, falling?”

“No,” he said with much softer and deeper voice. “Falling in love, falling.”

He turned away and stared into the blurry, eerily lit street. His eyes seemed to be reminiscing something that had hit him hard. He looked he was feeling the wound of a war fought a thousand years ago.

“Oh…I-..I don’t know what to say…”

“You don’t have to, love. No pressure. It’s all in the past now.”

“Oh…what happened?”

He sighed and looked at me, “the present looks better, doesn’t it?” he said and pecked my lips. “So beautiful, confident, dreamy,” he continued to leave sweet kisses on my lips after every word he said.
Wow, he’s a little too good at dodging questions, isn’t he?

I left my question behind and let my face light up with the reaction to his gesture.

I felt a shooting pain in feet and so I had to stop.

“Ouch!” I said as I raised my foot and rubbed my toe a little.

It was the heels. It had started its job. It was killing me!

The pain got worse with every step I tried to take after that.

“You keep saying you’re okay but you’re not!” Harry said with big, adorable, puppy eyes.

I smiled at him and sank down slowly and unhooked my heels. Once done, I hooked them to my fingers and we started walking again.

“You sure? Can you really walk?”
“Oh, please. Don’t be so dramatic,” I said and playfully punched his arm.
“Uhhh…I’m sorry for being concerned,” he stopped walking as I stepped a little ahead of him.

“Catch up, Mr. Styles,” I said without turning around.

“Babe,” he said and I stopped right there and turned around. He was running, taking small steps, until he reached me and got a hold of my free hand again.

We’re calling each other names now? I’m gonna burst now.

“So ‘babe' works, huh?”

I secretly bit my lip to hold down a weird smile. I looked at the ground for a second and struggled to look back up into his eyes.

“Are you being shy, love?” he said and playfully bent in front of me to get a glance of my red face.

“No! You are!” I said without looking at him.

“Really? Kindergarten comeback?” he chuckled.

“Oh, just-” I playfully pushed him away with my shoulder.

“Silly, silly,” I heard him mumble.

Harry’s pov

She wouldn’t look at me. Her hair shining brighter every time she looked down. She felt like the source of the moonlight.

I walked behind her for a while just admiring the way she skipped with no heels on at this hour at night. She was like a kid with no rules. Free. Happy.

“We’re almost here!” she said as we turned onto another street.

I decided to step a little closer to hold her again but she got away as soon as my hand came in contact with hers.

“No, Mr. Styles. Please wait,” she said and walked backward with her face to me.

I pushed my hands into my pocket, “where are we, Skye?” I asked as I finally looked around and realized she had brought us to a cringy hole!

“The best parts is all you’ve to see,” she said and took a tight hold of my cuff and yanked me.

I couldn’t help but laugh. I jogged behind her as she just kept running.
But in a sudden transition, she was on the ground in loud thud and I was kneeling right behind her.

“Fuck,” I exclaimed and inched closer to her to check in.

“What the hell was that?!” she looked down to see a thin rope tied down to the concrete.

I looked at it and instantly caught hold of her hand, “we have to leave,” I said firmly.

“It’s okay, Harry! I’m fine. Let’s carry on,” she said as I helped her stand up.

I dusted off a little dry cement from the end of her dress and tried to pull her away into the opposite direction but she wouldn’t budge.

“No, Harry! Let’s gooooo! I really want to go…you took me to the place you liked! Now it’s my turn!”

“Skye…please just-”

“Ahhh…old friend,” he said from the darkness and I dreaded what I heard. I gripped her hand tighter and hid her behind me.

“Stay behind me, love,” I said to her and left a kiss on her forehead. She looked alarmed but I blinked to let her know that everything’s okay. She looked perplexed even, but now was not the time to explain anything.

“What’ going on, Harry?” she whispered from behind me.

“Shhh….” I said and brushed the back of her hand with my thumb.

“Harold,” Caleb finally walked out of the shadows.

His face was enough to serve as the most tragic memory from those days I regretted. The last that has been haunting me for years. The past I’ve always been running from. The past I erased to start from scratch.

The scar along his left cheekbone from back then still evidently visible on his brown skin. His hazel eyes gleaming at me to plunge me into a out of emotions I’ve never tried to understand. All I knew and held onto from my past life was the face and the guilt which was at time pleasuring.
Skye’s arms held onto my bicep as Caleb moved forward.

“Harold Styles,”, he said with a sarcastic smile. I never thought I’d mug you in a million years.”

“Caleb, stop,” I said as a strand of hair pricked my eye. My image was starting to get blurry because of the tears that were forming. I pushed my hair away from my face and commanded Caleb to stop again as I heard Skye whimper.

“Oh, no, no, no,” he said and walked closer with every word, “I get to kill you today.” His smile faded and he pulled out a shiny object from the back of his pants.

Skye gasped and tried to get beside me but my forced my grip on her to stay in place. I could feel her heavy breaths.

I’m so sorry, Skye.

Caleb’s eyes clouded with tears. “How could you, man?” he asked. The same question he asked me when I had stabbed that rusted knife through his brothers abs; his eyes couldn’t hold a stiff gaze and he’d passed out in my arms right after Caleb fell to his knees when he realized what had happened.

All the past I’d been trying to leave behind was catching up to me like a movie of ten seconds; the trauma, blood, the screams, the torture, the coldness of my soul, all of it.

“Caleb, we can talk tomorrow. Just ….calm down for the night. I promise I will meet you tomorrow.”

He chuckled, “and let go of the only chance in get in five years to kill you? I don’t think so,” he said and paced towards me with the knife in his hand.

I got a hold of Caleb’s hand. I let Skye go and snatched the blade from him as I pinned the heel of my boot in his toes. He screamed in pain as Skye let out a loud gasp.

“Harry!” she screamed with terror.
I looked at her from over my shoulder, “I’m sorry, baby,” I said softly before driving the blade into Caleb’s ribs as he screeched in excruciating pain.

“NO!” I heard Skye from behind me and closed my eyes as tears started to stream down my face. Caleb’s face as a kid came to me, in my head. “I want to be like you,” he had said. I was only fourteen then. I was immensely honored when he had said it, so…I made him like me. I made him everything I was.

I made him a monster.