Life Goes On || TWDG Season 5 Fan Fic

The Argument

(I'd like to start by apologizing for any confusion last chapter. It's really hard to keep up proper writing in a scene with so many characters present! I repaired a few issues. My apologies!)

A hush passed over the group. No one really knew how to respond to the question. After a short silence, all eyes were on Clem. She swallowed hard, trying to figure out what to say. "J-javi.. after McCarol ranch I had no choice.. it wasn't sa-" He stopped her shutting his eyes tight, taking a deep breath. "It wasn't safe for Gabe either, Clem. Or Kate. Or anyone else in Richmond." She shook her head, trying to fight the guilt. "Javi you know I wasn't the only one who took off!!" He looked her dead in the eyes. "Clementine, after everything?! After putting my whole families ass on the line over and over with you? After saving you from Conrad? Did that mean fucking nothing to you? Does LOYALTY mean fucking nothing to you?!" "Please.. calm down.." She was visibly shaking, upset. "CLEMENTINE I TRUSTED Y-" Evelyn put a hand on his shoulder. "Javier, this isn't the time." Clem hobbled away out of sight, upset. Everyone was staring at Javi, except for Louis who just stared awkwardly at the ground. Omar was the first to speak. "What the hell? After we open our home up to you, you have the nerve to talk to her like that? Disrespect.." Violet was fighting the urge to knock him straight across the face. "Fuck you! If you ever gave a shit about her, you wouldn't be such a bitch!" She ran off after Clementine, leaving the rest to hesitantly disband. No one was in the mood to play anymore. The group split off. Evelyn and Henry headed towards the camp, while Antoine and Viola chatted. Louis approached Clay and sparked a nice conversation, notebook in hand. Omar turned into the dorms and Aj followed Javier who stepped through the gate outside. 

There was a solo walker which Javi made quick work of. He couldn't contain his emotion and began bashing it over and over, even after it was long dead. AJ watched from behind him. "I heard about you from Clem before." Javi turned to look at the boy. "What do you want, AJ?" He crossed his arms, looking up at the man. "Why are you mad at Clem? It's not her fault." Javier sighed, glancing down at the walker. He thought back to Badger, back to the raid. Back to the Richmond battle where it all began. "I.. I know." He buried his face in his hands. "I don't know why I said that.. I always knew she'd choose you over us any day." AJ looked at the broken man with sympathy. "She didn't pick me, she found me. If she stayed with you, we wouldn't be here. Whoever the people you loved would've died anyway." He formed a line with his mouth, pondering what to say next. He thought back to Clementine's engage with James. "I'd love to live in a world where we didn't have to worry about killing or dying.. or leaving people. But that's just not how things fucking work. Not yet. And what you're doing now isn't going to change that." Javi looked at him, taken off guard. "Holy shit, you're really something for someone your age." He smiled. "Clem taught me!" Javier's heart softened a bit. "..You're right, AJ. I shouldn't hold this against Clem.." He looked back to the school. "I'd let her be, her and Violet are probably talking."  He nodded, and the pair walked back into the perimeter of Erickson.

Meanwhile, with Violet and Clementine.

Vi searched the majority of the campus to no avail. She began to worry. She had checked the dorms, the admin building, the greenhouse, everywhere she could think. Then it hit her: the bell tower. She dashed over as fast as she could, skidding to a stop at the entrance. She mumbled under her breath upon seeing her girlfriend. "Shit sticks.." She kneeled down, grabbing Clem's hand. "Clem?!" She was sat with her legs to her chest. "Violet-" She immediately wrapped her into a hug. "God, you fucking scared me.." She saw the crutches on the opposite side of the enclosure. "D..did you try to climb?" Clementine nodded, embarrassed and upset. Vi frowned, lifting her chin to meet her gaze. "Please talk to me.." She shook her head, burying her face again. "Please?" After a few moments silence, Clem finally looked at her. "I just.. I-I'm sorry.." She sniffed. "God, I can't even fucking climb to be alone anymore.. I'm fucking useless..." She clenched her fists in frustration. "Vi.. I've done so many awful things.. I try to tell myself it's for AJ, but I wonder if I'm lying to myself.." Violet held her hand. "You do what you had to to survive, Clem.. we all do. None of what Javi said was your fault. None of it." Clem sighed. "But.. what if it was? S-sometimes when I'm alone.. I run through everyone names, over and over in my head. Hoping that maybe, somehow, it'll bring them back." She paused. "I know it won't. It never will. Once you're dead, you're dead. That's how it is I just.." She ran a hand through her hair. "I can't help but wish things were different." Vi just looked at her. She cupped her face with her hands. "You know what? I don't." She smiled at Clementine's puzzled face. "If none of this shit show happened, I'd be living a miserable, Clementine-less life. I'd be working at some boring chicken nugget place with some random assholes I'd want to kill." She got closer, leaning into her. "Clem.. if it weren't for all this, you wouldn't know AJ.. or Lee. Or Kenny, or Jane, or Sarah, or Gabe, none of them." "H-how did you know?-" Vi chuckled. "You talk in your sleep." She smiled. Clementine wiped her tears, giving Vi a kiss on the cheek. "Clem, you don't always have to be the strong one." Clem frowned, looking at what remained of her left leg. "It's kind of hard to be now.." They laughed a bit before Violet helped Clem up. "C'mon, I'm sure AJ is worried about you." She smiled. "Please! My kiddo is tougher then I am." The two went back to dorms.

Night had fallen as Vi led Clem back to her room: AJ on the other bunk, anxiously clicking his empty gun. Upon seeing her, he smiled and ran over. "Clem!" He hugged her. "Are you okay?" She nodded. "Of course, kiddo." She made her way to bed, sitting down, Vi next to her. He waved to Violet. "Did she make you feel better?" Clementine nodded. "She always does." He nodded, seemingly uninterested in her love life at the moment. "I drew you a picture in case you were still sad- or mad! Mad's okay too. But tell it to fuck off!" He giddily handed her a scribbly drawing, Tenn's old art supplies sprawled across the desk. "Vi I hope you don't mind I-" She nodded. "No prob, little dude." The drawing had what appeared to be all the kids, including AJ, giving Clementine a hug with a big heart around it. "I tried to show it to Louis and Clay, but Louis thought it was a potato!" He laughed. "Also I really like Clay! They're great! And I talked to Javi and he said he's gonna apologize because he's not mad and-" Violet stopped him. "Hey, AJ.. you know Clem loves you, but I think she needs her rest." He looked over to see Clem silently dozing off while sitting. Vi nudged her. "W-wha-" She said, in a sleepy daze. He laughed. "Alright, I'll show you tomorrow. She smiled. "Vi, can you hang this for me? There's pins in the desk." She handed her the picture. Violet nodded, hanging it right beside Clem on the wall the bed was against. "There, now you can always feel our love." She smiled, giving Clementine a forehead kiss. "Now get some rest - I'm gonna head to my dorm for tonight." Clem nodded, exhausted, closing her eyes. Before leaving, Vi paused. "You too, kid!" AJ groaned. "Fineeee!"

Vi walked to her dorm, the building silent around her. She opened the old creaky door, the handle barely hanging on. She shut it behind her, the slamming ringing through the hall. She flopped into bed and looked at the empty bed parallel to her own. Most nights upon seeing it, she'd roll over and try to ignore the aching in her heart: but tonight was different. She felt a bit more.. okay being not okay. After seeing Clementine, the strongest person she'd ever met cry, she realized that maybe it was okay to really feel. She really examined the bunk. She used to sleep in here with another girl before.. well, before everything. After that, the girl died pretty quick. Further along, when the twins 'died' according to Marlon, Tenn moved into the room with her. His side was decorated with drawings and old folded clothes. It was all very organized. Surreal. Violet couldn't help but miss him, despite his shortcomings. That being said.. she knew he was never really there. Ever since they all came to Ericson, the family had all been considerably off. Tenn was just hurting. And he dealt with that hurt by.. disappearing. She rose slowly, stepping across the room, and laying down in his bed. She looked at the top bunk, remembering how he used to reach up to it late at night and tap on the rails after his nightmares. It drove her crazy at the time, but she kind of missed it. It became her white noise. She curled up and fell asleep, her dreams taking her off to a world far above all the misfortune all of the living had faced. Far away from the walkers and blood. Not back to the old world,

but to her own.

Her own world of light and simplicity.

Because after all this,

she realized that the past wasn't the sanctuary she believed it to be.