Behind closed doors

Chapter four

When I got home I went to my room and locked the door. I didn't let myself cry. I wanted nothing more than to go back and try to make him forgive me. I couldn't understand why my drama had gotten in my way again. I didn't understand what could've happened when they offered me show after show. I never understood why Clinton even wanted me. From the looks of it he didn't anymore. I had college interviews in a couple months and I should've just left the day after the whole incident. Then I would've never fallen for him. I would have never felt so damn happy around him. I would still just be another fan. Salivating over all three of those Australian boys. But life is a bitch. I would never get to redo it. I kept refreshing my phone in hopes of a notification from him. I needed to forget about it. So I did what I did best and grabbed my car keys. Blasting songs I rarely listened to because listening to songs from his band wouldn't help much. Even with Nickelback screaming and drowning out everything in the world while driving the backroads I couldn't get him out of my head. He's the boy in the boy band how cliche. How fucking ironic. I keep having to remind myself that he did nothing wrong. My bullshit became too much. I costed them god only knows how much money at the first show and even more when Easton fucked up the bus. I couldn't fix anything so I just turned up the radio even more.

After driving around until my gas tank was almost on E I went home. I wanted a drink and I wasn't old enough to get one quite yet. I waited until my dad went to bed and grabbed a couple bottles of random but strong looking alcohol. I drove back to my apartment before I opened any of the bottles. I hadn't yet unpacked so I poured half of one of the bottles into a water bottle. That was the stuff I would save. The other bottles were for tonight. I hauled my suitcase up on the bed and unzipped it. I took a big swig and started pulling out clothes. I forgot my jacket from my car and it needed washed. After returning to my room with my jacket I felt around the pockets and felt a small box. Confused I shook out the pocket. A box of cigarettes fell out. I laughed. Even when I'm trying my damned hardest not to think about him he pops up. I dug deeper in the pocket and found a lighter. I remembered that night.

*Flashback*

Clinton and I were sitting at yet another table outside of some random fast food restaurant while the other boys ordered. I took a drink of my smoothie and continued to listen to Clinton go on about his college days. It was quite interesting. Turns out he and Mitchel had created some project or something for his class and that's the first song they had done. "....then the dumbass spills code red on my school laptop!" Clinton exclaims with a smile on his face. I laughed. When I looked up I found him looking at me with a smile on his face. "What?" I ask. "Nothing you just have a cute laugh." He blushes. I laugh and kiss him. "Time to go boys- and Ayzia." Riley called out. Clinton jumped up but forgot his cigs sitting on the bench. I grabbed them and put them in my pocket before catching up to Clinton.

*End of flashback*

That was two days before I left. I was staring at the cigs dumbly and opened them. The pack was mainly full. I put one in between my teeth and lit it. I heard my door unlock and Stacy walked through my bedroom door. I had downed the rest of the first bottle and a quarter of the other one. Stacy looked at me like a disappointed parent. "What never gone through a heart break?" I chuckled. "You need to shower you stink." She said ignoring the first question completely. I didn't want to shower so I just turned back around and started pulling out more clothes. "Ayzia I get that you're hurt but you need to take care of yourself now go fucking shower." I rolled my eyes and walked to the bathroom stripping of my clothes and starting the water. I looked at my naked body in the mirror. Honestly it's his loss. I thought to myself and laughed out loud.

After fumbling around in the shower for an hour Stacy came in and washed my hair for me. "You drank way to much Ayzia are you trying to give yourself alcohol poisoning?" I thought for a minute then nodded. She facepalmed. "Whatever wash your body." I did as I was told and then she helped me out of the shower. "Brush your teeth." I did. "Now comeone let's get you to bed." She said. "No I have to finish my clothes." She shook her head. "I already did the rest and put away your other stuff now get your ass in bed." Hmm. Fine. I walked into my room and laid down on the bed. I was asleep in seconds.

*Clinton POV*

I walked in on Mitty and Kras talking about her. I blew up. "DONT SAY HER FUCKING NAME. SHUT THE FUCK UP!" I screamed at them. I walked away before they could say anything. After about three hours of drinking nonstop I was fucked. I couldn't see straight and we had a show in ten minutes. "Let's go you're not gonna cost us money from your little outbursts move your ass." Riley interrupts my moping. I drug myself off the floor and grabbed my sax. I played through the show but didn't remember much of it once we got back to the bus. I'd known this girl for a whole two fucking months and already fell for her like she was a damn goddess. But just like I do to everyone I let my bullshit fuck it up. I decided to look at my Twitter and see what fans had to say about the show. Every goddamn tweet was about Ayzia. Every damn one. I threw my phone shattering it against the wall. I grinned and drank some more. Then I freaked out. How would I know if she texted me or anything how would I know if she got hurt. "Damn it!" I rushed out to the main area. "Can I use your phone?" I asked Mitchel. "Where yours?" He asked in return. "Broke it." He looked at me with a shocked expression but handed me his phone. I went through Ayzias Instagram and found her address.

*back to Ayzia*

I woke up to some asshole pounding on my door. "Ughhhhh." I laid back down. The I heard the door open. What the fuck. I heard multiples doors open before mine was opened. "Ayzia." He breathed out. Fuck.