| • 𝐬𝐮𝐠𝐚𝐫 • | 𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐭𝐲 𝐯 𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐭𝐬 ✔️

❤️

uh hi guys, I don't really know what to say besides I'm sorry. I want to thank you all a lot, for being there for me, supporting me, defending me, staying by my side. everything. you guys are all amazing and I couldn't have asked for better readers and/or supporters.
It has been such an amazing journey writing this book and slowly making progress with you all there for me and right next to me. I'm grateful for all of you, I don't know if I could even thank you all enough. All I can really say is thank you. Every single one of you, I wish I could thank all of you individually but I don't have the time. To get to the point, I'm going on a permanent.. break, I'd call it. I can't write this book anymore, in all honesty, I can't be bothered. I don't have the motivation to write, I havent had the motivation for months. It annoys me so much and it pains me sm because I know how much you guys love this book.

But I just don't think I can continue writing it, or writing anything. I don't have the motivation to do anything. I spend every single night of my life either crying or screaming. I can't do anything anymore. I don't have anyone anymore. everyone I meet leaves me, all of my s/os have left me. I had my s/o use me and break up with me on sunday. I've been crying over them every single day, they used me, I gave them everything I had because I was dedicated to our relationship, it ended up being one-sided. I don't have anyone anymore. I'm so desperate for help, for anything, anyone. I'm literally debating on crawling back to artful, I don't care anymore. I just want someone there for me. I don't want to pressure you guys into being there for me, I don't want any of you there for me for me to rant to you because I know the exact same thing will happen like what happened with artful.

I don't think I can do this anymore, anything anymore. writing? don't have the motivation. reading? too boring. gaming? I get bored quickly. love? always ends up with me getting heartbroken. friendships? I'm not social enough. eating? I feel sick afterwards. drinking? I feel like I need to throw up after.
my life is so shit, it hurts. all of it. I just want somebody to help me, I can't do this anymore. I say this all the time but I genuinely think I'm gonna commit this time. I can't hold on any longer, it hurts so much. I don't want to do it but it's my best option, I just want to have every single thing gone. It's so tiring. literally, I don't even have the motivation to write this, I'm slowly becoming tired of it and getting a headache already.

this will probably be the last update for a while, all I really want to say is thank you. all of you. I love you all so much, I cannot thank you enough. a word of advice from me to you from experience is;
if your absence doesn't bother them, then your presence never mattered to them in the first place.
goodbye, and thank you all. :)