his star

𝐗𝐗𝐗𝐕

𝐀𝐝𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐚

"Have you forgotten everything that has ever happened?"

Pansy is staring at me from the other side of the room, not breaking our eye contact while I wish I could just run out of the room and shut the door between us.

"No, Pansy, I have not but you have no idea-" I try to defend myself, but once again she interrupts me which causes me to sigh heavily.

"Oh believe me, I have an idea!" she raises her voice, stepping closer until she sits down on her bed while I am seated on mine. "He is the same as he has always been and sooner or later you will see it again. I don't know why he is acting like that now, but the day will come on which you will get hurt again."

I love her, I really do, but in moments like this I wish I could just make her disappear. I know that friends are supposed to give me advice and help me see more clearly when I myself am somehow blinded, but friends are not here to take my life and my choices away from me.

Supporting is good, but if they decide to rule for me, then it gets too far.

"What are you saying?" I ask her in a provocative tone, starting to crack my fingers because anger is rising inside me.

"I'm saying that I don't understand why you and Draco are suddenly so close. You had Theo, but I somehow missed the point where you decided to drop him and rather meet up with the guy who hurt you more than anyone else ever did. So basically I'm saying that you should stay away from him, not entirely if you really think that you two could somehow be friends or whatever you want to call it, but in my opinion it would be better to leave him now before it is too late. I don't understand one single bit of it, I'm sorry but I really don't."

Not once in our friendship have I ever felt the urge to throw words in her direction I swore to never say to her. I want to grab her by her shoulders, shake her and yell at her that she should piss off and leave me the fuck alone. I'm not saying it to her because I have some kind of self control, but it's hard to be boiling inside without exploding.

"I'm sorry, but is it my life we are talking about or yours?"

"Adhara, I know that it's your life. All I want to do is keep you away from everything that has the potential to hurt you some day. You know I don't want to make decisions for you, I'm just-"

"Well, it doesn't feel like that." this time I am the one to interrupt the other. "If you really want to talk about that right now, fine, but I won't do it if you keep judging me like that."

She is silent and I don't say anything either.

"Okay. I didn't mean to judge you, it's Draco I don't trust and he makes me mad because he can't keep his goddamn eyes off of you even though he knows what he did to you."

"Yeah Pansy. He knows, I know and everyone else fucking knows!" this time I can't control the volume of my voice and only after I spoke to her I realised how loud I really was. "Sorry. But he is your best friend and I don't get how you can talk about him like that."

She is quiet once again, looking down at her fingers before she meets my gaze again.

"Draco and I are like siblings. We love each other but I fucking hate him at the same time. It's two sided, Adhara. The one side is always going to love him like a sister would love her brother because we've been through so much that I don't think I will ever get rid of him. I don't even want to remove him from my life because as you said, he is my best friend. But on the other side I could kill him over and over again just because I know that you two have a past that absolutely sucks. He is important to me, yes, but if he decides to hurt you, then I don't give a fuck about whether I'm hurting him with my feelings or not."