Who We Used to Be

No Use in Arguing

        "Kimmy!"
        "Susan!"
        "Leila!"
        "Cameron!"
        "Theo!"
        "Jackie"
        "Chris!"
        "Ally!"
        "WAIT UP!"
        The first day of school can be terrifying. That's what you always hear about. The people starting middle school or high school. Or the ones starting in the middle of the year at a new school. You don't hear about the first day back from winter break. You don't hear about all of the reunions after a whole 2 weeks apart. The friends running to catch up to each other. The mobs of people and the shouts across the hallways. Oh wait, that's every day.
        The problem is, most people don't get that it doesn't have to be a new school to be terrifying. It doesn't have to be the first day of any year to be terrifying. It just has to be a day. That leaves a lot of possibilities. Of course, it does up the terror level if you're just coming back from a break from school. All those people that don't care who they run into as long as they get over to their friends. Yeah, that's where my story is going to start. The first day back. 8th grade. January 7th. I hope this is the right place to start. If it isn't, then I can always go back a bit. That's what I'll do. A flashback, or something like it at least. 
        Okay, here we go. 

.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

        The whole room is crowded with the smell of cologne from the boys and perfume from the girls. Ugh, I guess that was the popular Christmas present this year. Personally, it makes my nose itch, and aren't we only in the 8th grade? Seriously, you aren't going to meet your lifelong husband in Algebra 1.
        "Everyone take your seats. I hope we all had a good break from school, but we need to get back to learning," Ms.Turner said, earning groans from a good part of the class. "I know, I know. That's why we're just doing a review of what we learned before the break." This earned her a mixed reaction; some with relieved smiles, others still looking like the principal had just come over the announcements saying that the zombie apocalypse has started. Come on people, what did you think we were going to do? It's school. We're not going to go skip outside and discuss music videos. No, we only had one teacher that did  lessons like that, and she got moved to a more progressive learning school. I don't get what's progressive about how Taylor Swift's lyrics solve the mystery of the Bermuda Triangle, but I'm not one to argue with a loopy teacher being sent away. 
        Ms.Turner passes out the papers one by one, walking up and down the rows of desks. I'm in the back corner of the room. Just like all of my seats. My teachers trust me, I guess. I may talk occasionally, but at least they know that I'm not planning wild parties or passing out gum, both of which are practically acts of evil at my school. Yeah, Maplewood Jr. High bans gum. Just like Singapore. What's up with that? I understand the whole sticking it under desks and bleachers thing, but that's what detention is for. I guess enough people still sneak gum in for there to be people regularly in detention for being caught chewing gum after lunch. 
        Ms.Turner finally gets around to me, and gives me a small smile. Yeah, teachers like me a little too much at times. Kids haven't stooped down to the whole teachers pet thing, but the comments and knowing looks don't go unnoticed. Don't worry, I'm not being bullied, and I probably would do the same things if it was someone else. 
        The review was really easy, just some of the things that we'd been working on for awhile. I finished it just as Chris did. We stood up almost in sync and we walked up to Ms.Turner's desk, handing in our papers. She smiles and takes them from us, and just before I turn and go sit down, Chris and I make eye contact. I give him a small smile, but something inside me dies a little bit. 
        I know what you're thinking. No, I don't like Chris. Not in that way at least. 
        I met Chris when we were 2 years old. Now he's fourteen, and I'm still thirteen, with my late May birthday. We looked a lot alike when we were younger, and  we were often mistaken for siblings, but then my hair curled, and his got lighter as mine got darker, and now we might pass as cousins, but definitely not siblings. 
        Anyways, we don't talk that much anymore. I mean, we talk, but not as friends. More as... acquaintances. Which is not how you talk to someone that you've known your whole life. But the reason why is too hard to talk about. Not that it's that uncommon.
        Wait.
        Nope.
        I'm not thinking about that. 
        I've moved on.
        He has, and so has everyone else.
        Wait, what was I doing again?
        I felt the heat rush to my face as I realize that we're just standing at the front of the room, looking at each other, and people are starting to give us funny looks and some are even giggling a little. I drop my gaze and walk quickly back to my seat. 
        Man, why do I have to make such a fool out of myself. Chris was probably only looking at me because he thought something was wrong. We may not talk that much anymore, but I know he wouldn't not care if I was about to faint. Which I was considering, to get out of this class. Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not one to fake an illness to get out of class; unless it is a desperate situation.
        The quiet snickers have died down for now though, so I won't be needing to faint anytime soon.
        I get out a book and dive deep into the worlds of people that aren't and never will be real. Though, in my mind, they're more real than I even consider myself to be. The sound of the bell startles me from my daze and I gather together my belongings. Everyone rushes out the door, in such a rush to get to their locker or to their next class that they don't care who they trample or run into. Within seconds, the room is cleared and I'm the only one still there besides Ms.Turner.
        "Last again, miss Cosmos?" the algebra teacher smiles gently at me. I'm not a fragile person, and I have very strong opinions, and most of the time my teachers respect me about as much as I respect them, but I think that Ms.Turner doesn't get that. I mean, I can be opinionated in pretty much every other class, but math is pretty much black and white. I think by not speaking out too much and being the last one to leave, I've given her the impression that I'm fragile and shy. That couldn't be more wrong, but I wasn't going to just go up to her and tell her that. No, that would only end up embarrassing me...again.
        "Yes, ma'am," I replied with a smile of my own, "I'll see you tomorrow, Ms.Turner."
        She gave me a little wave as I walked out the door.
        I take a deep breath and plunge into the horrors of Jr. high hallways.
        No use in arguing.