FALLING - by Maria Love (a Negan fanfic)

Chapter 9

"When you are alive, you breathe, but you don't know how? When you are dead, you don't breathe, again you don't know why? But the truth is that the air remains the same and unseen, whether you breathe or you don't. However, without hope, we fail to exist" .

Sitting in the cold cell next to Negan, I softly read the words from the old book I was given by Jesus back in Hilltop. The pages had been slightly spoiled due to foxing, but to me the browning of the books pages was somewhat satisfying. Closing the book, I traced the engraved blackletter font title on the hardback cover; 'The Fundamental Nature of Knowledge'.

"Sorry if this is a little boring, it's the only book I've owned since before" I said as I placed it next to me.

"Louise, I could watch to you read from the yellow pages all night and hang on to every word. I just like listening to your voice" spoke Negan next to me. A few weeks ago he had earned the privilege of not being locked up at night like a feral dog. So during my evening visits, instead of being separated by the steel bars, we would sit arm to arm next to the small window and bathe in the light of the moon together.

"I got to go" I said in almost a whisper, it was nearing midnight and we had another busy day ahead. I felt Negan turn to look at me, and so I looked back. In that moment, when our bodies mirrored each other perfectly, I was right there in his soft hazel eyes, so at home in his soul. We were almost nose to nose, and there was nothing I wanted to do more than to kiss him. And as though he had read my mind, he looked down at my mouth and we tenderly locked lips. In his kiss, I felt the promise of years and the sweetness of waiting for when we could experience real love with each other. Without the concern of not being accepted.

"What I'd give to show you how much I love you right now" he gruffly said as his large hand crept up my thigh.

"Negan.." I warned in a whisper between heavy breaths, I could feel my heart race and my stomach fill with butterflies. However, this was neither the time nor was it the place. All I wanted to do was climb that man like a tree, but being caught in such a situation by someone would be catastrophic and I was not about to make that mistake. I placed my hand on top of his, halting further movement.

"I got to go" I said a little more stern with a grin. Leaning our foreheads against each other, I saw him reveal a toothy smile back to me.

"All right doll" he said as I got to my feet. "Hey" he called before I opened the door to leave, turning around I saw his signature mischievous look, "if you're gonna leave me with this wood at least get me lotion and some tissues".

"Filth Negan, that's what you are" I said shaking my head with a smile.

Silently I shut the rusting metal door behind me, I quietly chuckled to myself as I started walking back to my quarters.

"I knew it" said a mans voice behind me. I turned so fast I almost gave myself whiplash, in front of me stood two young boys and a woman. They were in their early twenties at most, maybe younger. "I told the council not to bring new people here, you're a traitor and you're fraternising with the enemy".  Turning around I went to run back to my cabin, but two more had come from behind and I was cornered. "Oh no, you're not going anywhere", all at once I was ambushed to the ground and the next thing I knew they were beating me from every direction, "GET OFF OF ME !!" I cried out before throwing my arms blindly in hopes of hitting one of them. "You're DEAD, you hear me bitch?? DEAD!" shouted one of the boys. When I felt like all hope was lost, I was suddenly free of the pummelling. Too afraid to look up, I crawled myself into a foetal position and began sobbing. I could still hear some struggling but this time it was them against someone else. I heard what sounded like someone being thrown against a hard wall, and then as fast as it started, it suddenly ended.