Taking The Risk (Risk Series #1) (UNDER MAJOR REVISION)

Chapter 9

Chapter 9

I didn't talk to him within weeks. Awtomatikong napapaiwas na lang ako sa kaniya sa 'di ko malamang kadahilanan. Ang laging tagpo naming ay sa cafeteria or sa library. Susubukan n'yang kausapin ako pero lalagpasan ko lang siya.

"Para kang shunga, you keep on avoiding him. I mean I get it that you got hurt pero you expected too much din kasi," sabi ni Fiona. Nasa classroom kami ngayon. Tamang kain lang ng cupcakes na dinala ni Katelyn.

I was just staring at Koen who was busy studying sa unang row sa harapan ko. Nakatalikod lang siya at babad na babad sa pagbabasa.

I did expected something. But I shouldn't be thinking like this, friends lang naman kasi kami. Pero bakit kasi gan'on magtrato si Koen ng friends. Talagang mapapaisip ka.

"Sino ba 'yung girl?" tanong ni Katelyn.

"Erica..." I murmured.

"Erica? Wait, I think I know that girl," singit naman ni Siara. She snapped her fingers and her face brightened up as if there's an idea that came into her mind. "She's actually Koen's ex, nung third year ata kami."

Hindi makapaniwalang napatingin si Fiona kay Siara. "Huh—Oh wait, dating block mate ka nga pala ni Koen."

"Seatmate to be exact,ex n'ya nga si Erica. They're dating again?" kyuryosong tanong ni Siara kay Fiona.

Ah, ex n'ya pala. Grabe, pwede pala 'yon? Pag ex pwede maging friends? Hindi ba dapat magkalimutan na sila?

Ang bitter ko naman masyado. Wala namang kami, magkabalikan sila kung gusto nila, mukha namang gusto nung Erica, e. Napaka assuming ko.

I stared at my paper. I felt a lump in my throat.

I did expect too much, and now I'm self-loathing, again.

But he introduced her as his friend. So, they're not dating naman siguro?

I groaned. Napasabunot ako sa sarili ko. I don't like where this is going and I don't like what I'm feeling.

"You should talk to him and sort out your feelings. Baka mawalan ka ng driver n'yan, hindi kita araw-araw maihahatid sa condo mo," sabi ni Fiona.

***

Umupo ako sa harapan n'ya nang umalis na 'yung kaibigan n'ya. Nasa loob kami ng isa sa mga labs at kakatapos lang ng klase.

He stared at me with a questioning expression on his face. His forehead creased.

I was just looking at him with my lips parted. I don't know what to say.

I thought he would just leave me alone but he waited for me to speak.

I have to tell him. I need to apologize na rin. Hindi sa kailangan ko ng driver, kailangan ko ng karamay, kasi ayon lang ang option ko para maka-survive ng med school, karamay. Kailangan ko rin ng closure sa kaniya. I kind of got attached to him within a short period of time— I hate and I love it at the same time. Hindi siya mahirap magustuhan, kasi ang bait n'ya masyado— sa kahit kanino.

I held my hands together under the table. And looked down at the surface of the table. I bit my lips. "I— I'm sorry..." I said in a soft voice.

"For?"

I played with my fingers. "For avoiding you, I— don't know— I misunderstood some things. A-and I had to figure it out so I distanced myself," sabi ko nang hindi tumitingin sa kaniya.

"Anong na misunderstood mo?" he asked.

I didn't speak. I don't know how to tell it to him. Ayokong masabihang assuming ako.