I woke to my usual spot, my bed.
For a second I thought it was an ordinary morning for a second. Until last night's events began flooding into my head, unstoppable.
I had fully awaken at this moment and the person who took me to a different place last night was not here with me.
His clothes were not here, I stood up, stretching my arms and I felt a little pain between my thighs but it was bearable.
I thought it'd be what I've read about or even seen in the movies where I'd find him making breakfast in the kitchen but when I got there he was not there.
He was no where to be found in my whole apartment.I decided to sit down and go through my phone.
The first thing I saw was a text from Pierre explaining to me why he had to leave so early yesterday, work stuff.
There weren't any missed calls from Nique, not even a simple text. I didn't know what I wanted him to say to me but it could be anything.
I decided to call him.
no answer. I called him three times but he didn't answer not even a single call of mine.
But I'm sure there's a good excuse why he wouldn't answer my calls nor text me.
yeah coz he has a girlfriend.
forgot that Zara?
For a moment a small pain hit me but I quickly brushed it off like it was nothing, including the thoughts that came rushing to me.
I decided to get up and be the big girl I was to start with my day.
I entered my bedroom and my eyes met with my bed, I began getting flashbacks of what happened last night.
"I'll be gentle", he whispered into my ear.
I heard his words from a distance but brushed them off entering the bathroom.
I filled the bathtub with warm water, I needed my body to relax. It deserved to.
I rested my head and closed my eyes while my whole naked body was covered with water.
"does it hurt?"
"I can handle it", I told him.
The thoughts wouldn't stop knocking outside my mind. I felt a pinch of regret but also brushed the feeling off.
I'm not the first person who's done this and I won't be the last one so its not a big deal.
right?
After what seemed to be forever ,I finally finished my morning routine.
I had already had my breakfast, cereal.
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I walked through the hospital hallway to my mother's wardroom.
I knocked. Entering and closing the door I saw her sleeping. I pulled the chair next to her bed out, quietly sitting down not wanting to wake her up. She needed the rest.
I pulled my phone out asking Pierre to please come by my place later on today. I needed someone to talk to.
I couldn't stop myself from thinking about what I've been avoiding for the longest time.
I deserved to do what I did with someone who was sure about me, someone who wanted me and only me. Someone who wouldn't make me a second option. I couldn't help but feel a little pain in my chest because this was not fair at all.
