Dark Kingdom

A dinner made for ten

       Sometimes night was dead silent in the castle. The quietest the place will ever be. No dragging of feet from the servants that tried their hardest to not be seen but could still be heard by the shuffle of their feet, like there is during the day.

     There isn't any lord's haughty voices and sinfully masterfully words that are spun with such fake politeness. Nor were there the whispers of the ladies, as they gossip.

    Then other night's such as tonight, when my father threw a ball, it's more rambunctious then it is during the day. As if somehow being dark out made things less formal and more excitable. 

People lost their heads. Behaving with less discipline and so much more rowdiness. There was dancing to be sure.

Which is nothing out of the ordinary but there was also a lot more drinking. Which meant people more likely to be themselves on a different level, and of course, secretly kissing. It sounded positively fun...and frightening. It was not something I could join in on, to be sure.

           Even if I probably would only participate in the dancing. I didn't even join the daytime festivities most days. Instead I was always stuck with my governess, and occasionally if I was lucky, some of my ladies in waiting.

Which wasn't as often as I'd like and was mostly during the times, I was allowed to join events, or when I was having my own. Which usually was just afternoon tea and the occasional secret poker nights we have. Which is a lot of fun but doesn't happen as much as I would like either.

              Tonight I was doing neither of those things and couldn't since my ladies were participating in tonight's party. Instead the servants bring me my own feast, that could easily serve ten others. I know without asking that it's my father's attempt to make me feel less apart from everyone. Instead it does the opposite, and I touch my chest, feeling a slight hollowness there.

        I wasn't sure why he had bothered with the small show of kindness, when he had done nothing else for me or showed me any other ounce of courtesy. I understood, for the most part. I was not a healthy child, and it grew into my young adulthood as well.

    Some things were just to draining for me to participate in. Other times like now though, I felt perfectly fine and capable of managing myself and still was not allowed to participate. I got the sense it had nothing to do with my father's worry for my health, but a secret torch of resentment toward me. 

  Though he pretended otherwise and still allowed me the title of princess and still claimed me as his daughter, there was no warm looks or love from him. I sigh as I stand elegantly watching as the servants bring more food in.

   It could be much worse than this, in fact this was grander than half the world would get. I shouldn't cry about tiny slights, it felt small and childish, but sometimes it felt like a lot. It felt like everything was wrong, because while my life is still grander than most, nothing felt right with it or even charming.

         I hold a hand up to the servants coming through and they halt with the food they are carrying. "I don't need all of that, if you wouldn't mind, could you take most of it back and eat some of it yourselves? It would be an honor to share in my food and let you have a fine and splendid night."

One opens her mouth as if to say something but doesn't. They all stand silent. The oldest of them who seems to be in her late thirties takes control.

"You honor us princess, but we must refuse."

I raise an eyebrow. "I refuse your refusal. In fact I insist. No one need know about it but us. It'll be our secret."

The older woman bows, and the others follow suit. Looking like it takes some effort not to drop the food they carry as they do.

"We thank you kindly, your highness." 

I nod and watch as they take some back with them. Making three trips. I feel bad they had to do it all over again but at least now they were doing it for themselves to enjoy and not just for me.

   After their done, I close the door behind them. I turn back and stand alone with lesser food then before but still an obsessive amount. I can't deny that it looks yummy though and I do eat some of the puffy pastries with raspberry sauce. Okay yes, and a couple chocolate covered cherries that I heard rumors might have been soaked in wine. If they were though, I can't taste it.

 Once I'm done eating them there's really nothing left for me to do. Except... No I couldn't possibly. My maid would be back at any given time to help me get ready for bed. Still, even with that in mind, I make my way over to the hidden panel in my room anyways, almost bored enough to risk it and go into the hidden passageway.

   I press my fingers to the latch that will unlock it but a gentle tap on my large door interrupts me. I sigh, pushing myself away from the wall and walk back across the room to answer the door for my maid. Perhaps once she was gone, I would go anyways. I know already that I'm lying though. I'm not brazen enough.

It is not my maid that is at the door though, but one of my ladies in waiting and friend. Ender. Such an unusual name that sometimes they joked she got the name from being a secret assassin. Someone eventually shortened it to the nickname Edie

I look at her confused for a second and then look past her, not sure if I'm expecting the others to be with Edie or not. Ender stands alone though.

"What are you doing here?" I ask, confused.

"I've come to break you lose tonight and let you have some fun."

I shake my head. "You know I can't."

"Are you feeling ill tonight?"

"No..." I admit.

"Then why not?"

Because my father hates me and does not desire to look at me. The truth lingers in my mind but never falls from my tongue.

 I shrug lamely instead and give a sly quirk of my eyebrow. "My maid will be here shortly." I say smoothly, knowing it's a well enough reason and wondering already how Edie will refute it.

"Paid her off, she will not be coming tonight."

"The king won't be happy if he sees me."

"He retired for the night already and I'm not taking you to that silly party anyways."

"You aren't?"

"No."

Now I'm intrigued.

"Then what do you have planned?"

 "Only one way to find out." Edie says enticingly and with that she slyly moves back.

I shake my head at Ender in exasperation, slightly ducking my head out the door to look and see if anyone is in the hall.

There will always be hard and stifling choices to make, especially in their society. I grin at Edie, a split second later coming to a decision, for this was not one of those times, and if I were to die tomorrow, I wanted to feel as if I had lived.

"Grab your cloak." Ender tells me.

I give her a questioning look.

"Not many may recognize you, but you never know." Edie says with a shrug.

"Won't it seem more irregular and perplexing if I were the only one in a cloak? It may draw more attention." I say.

"Fair point, let's go."

I do as she says, closing my door and follow her. I don't look back.