Insanity

"Are you nervous?" My best friend Samantha says to me over the phone.

"I'm going to a collage in Washington, a place I've never been before, of course I'm nervous." I say, trying to keep calm but obviously raging.

"You need to relax Jess, WSU isn't that bad at all. You'll do fine, I know you get along with people well." Sam says, calming my nerves.

My mom walks in and taps her watch to indicate it's almost time to leave. I quickly end the phone call with Sam by telling her I'll see her tomorrow. I decide to take one last look in the mirror before I eventually grab my suitcase and bags and head towards the front door. My mom stops me at the door for a photo, I admire her for her strength. She's raised me ever since my abusive 'dad' left, and having to deal with the loss of a child would have made it even worse.

"Can you please hurry up mom, ill miss my flight?" I say in an impatient tone.

"Just one more photo Jessica, please smile this time." My mother says, in a polite way. I pull the biggest, most fake smile I can and immediately walk out to the car.

"I'm really glad you are letting me drive you to the airport instead of driving yourself." My mother mentions as she unlocks the car doors.

"I only wasn't going to let you drive me if he was going to be with us." I reluctantly say.

"Who? Curt?" She asks.

"Yeah, your boyfriend." I mumble.

"Well he's not, so lets talk. What is wrong Jess?" She asks and I look out the window and don't say a word. "Jess, I can't let you leave like this, please talk to me."

"He proposed to you and it's not that I don't like him, it's that I'm not going to be able to deal with someone else living in our house with you, even if I'm not there. He will try and act like he's my father and I don't want that." I say then turn silent and continue to stare out the window.

"Curt will never get in the way of us and our relationship. It will always be you and I, he will just with us too." She says and comforts me by rubbing my shoulder.

The rest of the car ride was long and silent, apart from the occasional small talk.

We finally find a car spot and we quickly open the doors to have a cigarette since we can't smoke in the car.

"Here have one of mine, save yours for when you get there." Mom says and hands me a cigarette. I quickly light it up and so does Mom.

"Have you got everything?" My mother asks and I check in my handbag for everything I need.

"My phone, ticket, credit card, money, smokes. I'm pretty sure I'm set." I say as I get out of the car. I walk around to the trunk of the car and get my bags out. I struggle to all four bags so my mother offers to carry two.

After checking in my bags and receiving my boarding pass, my mother and I sit and wait for my flight to be boarded. We are both currently glued to our phones, so there is no words being spoken.

"Flight 109 to Washington, boarding now from terminal 3, thank you for flying American Airlines." A women's voice says over the loud speaker and my Mom and I make our way to the terminal.

"Jessica have a safe flight, text me as soon as you land. I can't believe my little bubba is going off to collage. I love you so much." Mom says, almost in tears.

"Mom I love you so much," I say as I give the man my boarding pass. "have a safe drive home Mom." I see my Mom shed a tear, which makes me cry a little myself. I give her a long hug and a kiss on the cheek then board my plane.

The plane walkway is squishy and hard for two people to pass each other. Seat 5P, right at the end. I am seated in the middle of a big, bald man and an Indian lady. Luckily the flight only goes for an hour, I don't think I can take another minute of the two quite different smells seated beside me.

After getting off the plane and getting my bags, I head outside to have a smoke and text Mom.

Jess: hey mom, I have just landed and I'm just sitting outside and going to call a taxi. Love u heaps and missing u already xxxx

Mom: I'm glad ur safe jess love u so much talk soon x

I have one last drag of my cigarette and walk up and get into one of the many taxi's at the taxi bay.

"WSU please." I say and the taxi driver smiles and nods.