✅When A Bad Boy Fell In Love (Fanfiction) Wattys2021✅

Chapter 41: Lee Hi's Point Of View

*Goodbye will never be easy especially if you knew that there's no going back in that goodbye. The forever goodbye meaning.*

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BGM - Words of My Heart by Kristel Fulgar

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Warning: Embrace yourselves.

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No matter how much I shout out
I guess you can't hear it everyday
Only on the inside
Only with my eyes
I had to tell you
Words of heart my heart  for you my love

The moment he said no, I know that he'll not be able to go home again tonight and for the nth time..he disappointed me again. I even shouted at Min because of the disappointment I felt. It's wrong to vent him my frustration that's why I said sorry right away. Now that I am alone, as I walk alone I just realized how did I even survived the past two months enduring the pain. But right now..I doubt myself if I could even endure anymore pain that B.I will inflict in me. I've had enough. I was drain already. I was there, waiting all along but he didn't notice me anymore.

It becomes a long tiring day
I will just keep on waiting for you
Just like breathing
It became so natural

Maybe it's my fault that I let Dahyun to plant doubts in my head. It was her who planted and gave me an idea to doubt B.I...but B.I was the one who make it grow. He just proved all the doubts that Dahyun told me.

I am done waiting. I am tired understanding him. I just want to be free from the pain. I suddenly fell on my knees as I feel my heart is tightening because of too much pain. I realized that no matter how strong we are, no matter how much we endure the pain there really comes a time that we'll just stop and will feel get tired of everything. That just like the clouds, when they felt heavy, they cried. We cried, because we are in pain.

I wanted to tell you
I wanted to call out to you
I always take them out
But hide it back again
Words of my heart

I don't like those happiness come to an end yet it still ended, just like a movie with a sad ending. It was painful and heart shattering. Why must our supposed to be happy ending became a sad ending? I want this love to last that's why I still keep holding on..you thought me how to be strong but you you didn't teach me how to be strong enough without you by my side, B.I. You didn't teach me how to let go when it's too much already. You didn't teach me how to move on from you because I am no longer your priority. I keep holding on to your promises that I didn't really know until when should I hold on or when to let go.

No matter how much I shout out
I guess you that can't see my heart
Behind this bright face
How many teardrops must I erase
That you will never know
My love

But maybe I am a fool for still staying. I am a fool because I love you too much that I am willing to endure any pain and will still stay..as long as there's reason for me to stay. But the again..I am drained already. I am lost. I am done. Mostly, I am tired. I don't want to let go..but you give me everything and enough reason to finally let go.

This is my first time
Feeling this way
Even when I'm next to you
I miss you
Just once
I wish I could be in your arms
And call out your name

If you only given me at least one more reason to stay then I'll stay. But you'll only giving me disappointment. You'll only giving me pain. Now, I am ready to go. I am ready to let go. It pains me to let go..but if the caused of letting go is finally making myself free and happy..then I'll endure and embrace that pain again as long as I move on until the end. But then in the end..I knew I will miss you and I just wish that this time..come and let me forget the pain just by being here by my side. Don't make me miss you anymore, because the pain is unbearable already, B.I."