I see the way you make people feel.
The way you have hurt others.
The way you act around me vs the way you acted around them.
I see the way you feel about things and how they arent the only ones in pain.
But Honey, I've been in your shoes, the only reason you're in pain is because you arent happy with what you did. You are balming them for you're failure. You may have a mental illness that has nothing to do with them, but dont take that pain out on them. They have there own lives and obstacles without having to deal with your shit.
Either let them help you and be a part of your life or live them alone and go your own way.
Its your life, if things arent working out the way you want then too. Change them, who knows it might actually be amazing.