the end to it all

by Zoë Stevens
just a heads up, you're reading from India's pov.
this is a wlw story so uh, if that makes you uncomfy, leave before it's too late.
also, the beginning is supposed to be out of context, it makes sense towards the end. enjoy reading beloved! <3

Your face in her palm as you lean into it.
"i don't want to lose you".
"you already did"
"it wasn't my fault, i said i'm sorry"
"you're sorry? you're sorry that you hurt me, broke me and tore me apart? how the fuck do you think i can forgive you for all the pain you indirectly put me in? sorry doesnt fucking cut it dude."
"i don't know what else to say because i know how badly i messed up. all i want is for this to be over and for us to go back to how it used to be i-"
You start panting rapidly as you snap back to reality
"HEY, hey! wake up, you're having a bad dream love, it's okay, i'm right here...i'm not going anywhere... i promise."

Your eyes still wide open from what had just happened. The rain tapping at the window and the moonlight shining in your room breaks your focus. A single teardrop falls from your eyes.
It was all a dream. Or so you thought.

You shudder as shivers crawl up your spine. It was cold outside. The middle of the winter.

Winter is one of the worst seasons in the authors opinion, but you don't mind it in this story.
Your girlfriend still looking at you in a very concerned manner. "are you okay dear?"
"yeah yeah, i'm okay, just really god damn cold" you responded as you shiver.
"get closer, i'm like a personal heater with all my warmth" she chuckles.
You've been with your girlfriend for almost two years. Recently, you decided to be more open with your relationship because you felt too shackled with her and only her. You were in a happy, healthy relationship.The two of you have never fought but you were always worried you would, eventually. When you woke up from you "dream", you were so relieved because it wasn't a real fight. You weren't one to argue but you knew how to stand your guard when need be.
You went back to sleep in her arms knowing all was well. You are finally woken up by the sound of your annoying alarm clock. You keep forgetting to change the song, god damn it.
You got breakfast ready for you and your dear beloved girlfriend and went to go give it to her.
you're girlfriend's pov
They shot up from their dream terrified.I was scared too. I hated seeing her like this. I comforted her back to sleep. I wonder what she dreamt about?
I got up early, not wanting to wake them. they were very pretty when they woke up, i didn't wanna miss it. However, i had a whole day filled with plans so i had to leave early.
I left to go run my errands.
back to your pov
Today is my birthday and every year on my birthday my girlfriend goes all out. She knows i don't have a lot of people i feel are really there for me so it's really just been me and her friends. Her one friend, who i've liked for the longest time. Yes, i'm in a open-ish relationship with someone i completely love but this crush meant nothing. I think?I ran downstairs for coffee, at the coffee store below the apartment,only to meet him there. "oh Cole! fancy seeing you here."
Hey India! I'm just here for coffee, it's my favorite place and i don't really like other places-"
"-they always mess my order up" they say in unison.
The two shocked at what had escaped their mouths, they burst out laughing.
"happy birthday by the way" he says between laughs.
You can't believe he remembered, how sweet. "thank you!" you wanted to see more of him, he was so handsome when he chuckled. "hey Cole?"
"yeah?"
"uhm... wanna go out later? i wanna get to know you better"
"how could i say no on your special day? i'd love to, text me the address, i'll be there by 2pm" he shot a smile before leaving
"see you then" he said as the door closed, ringing the bell at the top.

You were really excited for later that day. As 2pm rolled around you were ready and texted him the address an hour earlier because, you were waiting in anticipation for the time to go faster. You sat talking to him for hours, you couldn't get enough of him. The way he smiled was so mesmerizing to you. You felt guilty about how you felt for him because you already had Zara, the person you've loved for two whole years. on the other hand, you felt the spark in that relationship die out. You didn't feel the same about her but you wanted to stay with her, for the sake of being comfortable.

Cole dropped you off at home after your little date. As you stood in the hallway and opened the door to your apartment, you kissed him. It was a longing kiss because you two both had wanted to kiss since you met and boy was it worth it. "SURPR- India?" said your girlfriend as the door swung open. You stopped dead in your tracks, your heart skipped a beat but not in a good way. It felt like you could hear every beat of your heart from that point in time. "what's Cole doing here, with...your lipstick... on his lips?"
"Zara, i can explain.. i-"
"i'd like to see you try India, this is one sticky situation you've got yourself into" she said while tears fell from her squinted eyes.
"it was a spur of the moment Zara, it didn't mean anything" said Cole, backing up India and not his best friend. Every single one of Zara's friends stood behind her, either upset or shocked by both Cole and India's actions.
"shut up Cole, this is none of your business" said Gadija, one of Zara's best friends, clearly hurting for her friend. 
"i can't fucking forgive you India, i had a strong feeling it would end up like this. you're on a tightrope. a one way street. i mean seriously,there's no coming back from this"

"i don't want to lose you".
"you already did"
"it wasn't my fault, i said i'm sorry"
"you're sorry? you're sorry that you hurt me, broke me and tore me apart? how the fuck do you think i can forgive you for all the pain you indirectly put me in? sorry doesnt fucking cut it dude."
"i don't know what else to say because i know how badly i messed up. all i want is for this to be over and for us to go back to how it used to be i-"
This feels all too familiar..this is what you said your dream from this morning.
What the fuck? Why'd it have to come true, life was good. It was wonderful. Until this cursed dream.
"goodbye India."
"Zara please, we don't have to do this"
"i said goodbye" she pointed at the door.
There it was.
the end to it all.