I wish I can remember everything. I wish I've gained the memories I've lost.
___••___
How does it feel that one day you wake up with no ideas about your existence? Well, it feels like your head was slowly stabbed by an ice pick. It hurts.
Six months ago, I suddenly woke up having no sense of who I am, where I came from, and why I am lying on that hospital bed.
Then moments after, the doctor entered the room with other people which is my family. They explained to me the reason why I ended up having amnesia.
All of them introduced themselves, I just listen to their statements and It makes me feel grateful knowing that I survived that accident.
I am happy as well seeing my family's smile and tears of joy for I know that they didn't lose hope and they gave me their best prayers.
"So, naaalala mo na ako?" Troy asked.
I closed my eyes and tried to recall our memories together. I remember a few of it, but not the other details.
I opened my eyes and said, "hindi pa talaga eh. Maliban sa mga napuntahan natin at sa mga nakuwento mo, wala na akong ibang maalala. But don't worry, may mga pangyayari na akong nakikita pero hindi nga lang buo at minsan malinaw kong nakikita yung mukha mo, minsan naman hindi."
"Mabuti naman kung ganon," he said.
We both continue our steps and here I am, eating my favorite street food which is 'kwek-kwek.'
"Ayaw mo ba talagang tikman?" I asked him.
"Huwag na, tsaka nakakahiya naman kung isusubo mo 'yan sa akin eh maraming tao," he said.
"Sino ba ang nagsabi na isusubo ko 'to sayo? Feeling mo naman," biro ko sa kaniya. "Hindi, joke lang. Oh eto po ginoong Troy, Kainin niyo na po 'yong natitirang kwek-kwek."
I said in my softest voice and acting like his servant. I handed him the cup, but he still refused to eat.
"Bahala ka nga diyan! Ikaw rin naman ang magugutom," I said and begin my steps but then halted as I realized that the crowd was looking on us.
I looked back and I see him standing, still. "Wala ka bang balak maglakad?" I asked him cause' I feel uneasy but he just gave me a smile.
"Cassie, look at them. Pinagtitinginan ka," he said.
"Wala akong pake, hindi naman kita jowa. Guys hindi ko siya jowa ha, magkaibigan lang kami!" I exclaimed while facing the crowd. Mabuti na't malaman nilang hindi lovers quarrel 'to.
I grabbed his hands and pulled him. Wala yatang balak mag lakad.
"Asus, crush mo kaya ako dati," Troy teases me.
"Hindi 'no!" I said and make my steps faster.
"Paano mo nasabing hindi? Nakakaalala kana ba?" he asked.
His question stopped me from walking, he has a point though.
"H-hindi rin," I answered and it makes him burst into laughter. Tsk, what's funny.
"H-halika na nga rito, 'yun na yung bus oh!" I changed the topic and immediately run towards the bus because of embarrassment.
Troy and I met five months ago at the overpass in the afternoon, and I can still remember that awkward moment of my life but thanks to God cause' no one's around.
Who on earth would not feel uneasy if a stranger hugs you without your permission and then say, "thank God you're okay. I miss you so much, Cassie."
