his star

𝐗𝐗𝐗𝐈𝐗

𝐃𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐨

Everything seems to be normal, seems to be the way it was before I left. The voices of students right before the Entrance Hall are greeting me, but I'm not the one they are talking to. It's the familiarity of listening to them that is welcoming me back because right now I have no other choice than to be the observer.

The sound of my shoes colliding with the stone floor is filling up my ears, shoving away all the other noises that are surrounding me.

Students keep passing me, but none of them appears to actually notice my presence. Maybe I'm right, maybe I don't just feel like a ghost that was drained from everything that kept him sane, that kept him alive. Maybe it doesn't just feel like it and instead, I became one.

I'm a ghost wandering through the castle in order to reach my dorm, in order to keep myself isolated from everyone and everything. No one sees me, no one hears me so why should I keep showing myself? There is nothing that can be done in order to fill me with a little bit of optimism, a little bit of colour maybe, because I myself feel invisible, feel like I'm on the verge of disappearing but there is something that prevents me from actually doing so.

My feet keep moving, wanting to reach my room as fast as possible, but this one small dot at the end of the corridor is stopping me, letting my whole body feel like a thunderstorm is raging inside me.

Maybe I'm not a ghost after all because the spirits surely wouldn't be able to feel what I'm experiencing right now.

Suddenly, it feels like that every pair of eyes lie on me, that everyone is watching my every move, but in real life that's not true because I'm still ignored, still treated like a no-one.

Only one person appears to be able to see me and that person is coming closer and closer and after a few seconds of letting the thunderstorms weigh me down, letting the bolts of lighting paralyse my feet so that they are glued to the ground, I begin to walk just like the growing dot does, but I'm moving in another direction.

While this one person tries to reach me, I try my best to avoid getting in contact with her.

My footsteps sound in my ear just like they did before, but the girl behind me decides to change her rhythm.

She is running.

For a moment, I think about fastening my pace too, think about all the ways I could increase the distance between us, but before I can actually make a decision, I feel a hand taking hold of my arm.

The sound of shoes on top of the stone floor are disappearing, the sound of my blood rushing trough my ears is vanishing and only the loud thunder is left, causing my whole body to vibrate with every time her grip tightens and with every time her eyes meet mine.

I'm still walking, trying to get rid of the picture of her eyes and of her touch, but the moment she decided to lay her hand on my arm, she also decided to not let me go until she gets what she was looking for.

My name is rolling over her tongue, trying to attract my attention with every time she says this one word and all I want to do is shut her up because I can't bare to hear her voice, can't bare to hear my own name.

It's like someone is punching me in the face over and over again whenever she decides to speak once more, causing the storm inside me to only rage more intensely.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" her eyes stare into mine with shock and maybe a hint of fear while my hands are holding her wrists harshly, pressing the girl who has been following me against the wall in hope of stopping everything that grew to be too much.