5 Date Rule

Hey! I had a great time last night and these last few weeks, but I just don’t really think I am the guy you are looking for to settle down with. Sorry.

-Mark

I stared at the piece of paper and groaned. Yet another one to leave after I finally let them sleep with me. Am I really that bad for guys to leave me once they’ve slept with me? I just don’t understand it. I am officially accepting the fact that I will never have a boyfriend for more than a month. I am never getting married. I am just going to be alone.

I placed the note on the table in front of my roommate, Ella. She shoved the spoonful of cereal in her mouth and looked up at me with a confused look on her face. “What’s that?” she asked me with her mouthful. I shook my head at her for being so gross, but moved it closer to her and she read the piece of paper. “Another one?” she asked me after she had finally chewed and swallowed her food. I nodded my head and sat down at the table across from her. “What is wrong with me?” I buried my face in my hands and sighed.

“Nothing is wrong with you. Guys just want to have sex and once they are given a game to get it they will play until they get it then once they have it they leave.” She told me trying to make me feel better about it. “Maybe this whole 5 date rule thing isn’t the greatest idea.” She commented and I just looked up at her, running my fingers through my hair.

“Why? I’d rather not give away my v just like that.” I told her and she shrugged her shoulders. “I’m just saying that way you wouldn’t be so emotionally attached to the person. Every time you give the guy the 5 dates before you have sex you end up liking the guy because he is just trying everything to get what’s in your pants rather than wanting to get your heart.” She nodded her head at me and brought the bowl to her mouth and drank the milk that was left over. I shook my head at how childish she was sometimes, but she did have a point…

“Am I not good enough?” I asked her, my voice cracking slightly. I had figured maybe I would try this 5 date rule thing that I saw somewhere to see if it would work. Unfortunately every guy after we slept together has left the next morning with a note by my pillow. Maybe it’s when I talk about my future that scares them away, or how I am so into books, or maybe it’s the fact I am completely and utterly insane for thinking a guy would stay with me after waiting a few weeks just to have sex.

“Baby you’re an amazing girl and anyone would be lucky to have you. You’re just not finding those guys.” She smiled at me and picked up her bowl and brought it into the kitchen. “I am 22 years old, turning 23 in three months. I don’t have much longer before I should be having children.” I sighed and Ella groaned.

“Exactly, you’re only 22. You have like 8 years before you should be worrying about children and marriage.” She told me as she walked back into the dining room with a banana in her hand. This girl ate so much I didn’t understand how she was so small.

“At this rate I am going to end up like Larry from the third floor.” I buried my face in my hands once again and Ella just sighed. “You’re hot, though. Larry on the other hand is a 67 year old man.”

“Maybe he was hot back in the day.” I pointed out. Ella just laughed at me and shook her head. “Look, all I’m saying is you have plenty of time before you really settle down and get married and have kids. It’s not the end of the world if you don’t find your perfect guy right now.” She smiled at me and got up once again to throw out her banana.

“Easy for you to say, you’ve had boyfriends who stay with you longer than a few weeks and don’t drop you once you sleep together!” I yelled at her and she came back out from the kitchen and raised her eyebrows at me. “Maybe, but he cheated on me.” She reminded me and I nodded my head slowly. “Right. Right…”

“Just stop stressing over finding the perfect guy. Your perfect guy is out there somewhere and he won’t be on any online dating sites.” She pointed at me and I blushed slightly, raising my hands up in defense. “Can’t blame a girl for trying.” I laughed and Ella just rolled her eyes, walking past me and into her bedroom. I sighed and got up and walked right over to the bathroom, staring at myself in the mirror. Maybe just maybe I will be somewhere and find someone who will not leave after we sleep together. Then again, I get my hopes up too much with every guy when I know for sure that they’re all the same and only want one thing. Men are such pigs.

I stared at my reflection in the mirror and sighed. My hair was all over the place and I looked like someone had just run over me with a truck. I don’t get how in movies when they wake up they look all perfect when in reality you always look like a piece of shit. I quickly brushed my hair and walked out of the bathroom and plopped down onto the couch. If anything could cheer me up right now that would be watching Maury.

“In the result of 14 month old Abby, Derek, you ARE the father!” Maury said to the guy and the woman got up yelling in his face. I laughed at how dramatic these people were on these shows, but that’s what makes me watch it all the time. My parents never understood why I ever watched this show. They told me it was a ridiculous show and I should be spending my time on something else rather than wasting it on watching stupid reality shows. Only did I later find out my parents watched a million reality tv shows, so they never hounded me about watching Maury ever again.

“Where are you going all dolled up?” I asked Ella as she walked out of bedroom and into living room to grab her purse. “Ryan from 3B asked me out for a coffee and I said yes. I’ll be back whenever. Don’t do anything stupid.” She blew a kiss to me and disappeared out of the living room. Once I heard the door shut I sighed. Everyone is just leaving me today. Good on you, Adrian.

I slowly got up from the couch and walked into my room, changing into something quickly and grabbing my keys and purse. If Ella is gone and Maury is over the only place left for me to go is the book store.