Five Hundred Miles

2.5: Her hair like roses.

Chapter 2.5: Her hair like roses. [UNEDITED]

[He doesn't even notice that she doesn't get up to say hello. And he's very bitter. And you think that he's just gonna walk out the door...and never know why she's just lying there, you know, on the couch, with this blanket over her shriveled little legs.—Sleepless in Seattle.]

-Gideon's P.O.V-

I do remember. The images are still fresh in my mind.

I was drunk and my words were slurry, but I remember her delicate fingers scraping along my goatee, the sweetness of her tears, the way I react under her touch, her kisses. She kissed me. Voluntarily. How could I ever forget?

At that moment when I wake up, I have myself distangled from her, even when that's the last thing I want to do on Earth. Her smell is so divine that even perfumes from all around the world should feel like they should never exist. She still smells like herself, like Maple, like roses and sandalwood. I remember how little she was before I left her.

She has grown into a beautiful woman, a virgin still. How could she still be one when she's so breathtakingly stunning? What if some other man took it from her?

I cannot bear someone else touching her. That night, I remember, when Will touched—molested her, I should have killed him. I stopped because of her. She told me not to do it.

I can't believe what I just did. I sent her away, and so she's away. Why did I do it? I shouldn't have done that. I gave her hope and now it's obliterated. I am an asshole, and she's right. I don't deserve her.

I forgot protection the last time Cara and I slept together. She seemed tempted not to use protection, and she tricked me into believing that she actually took birth control. I can't even believe myself when I heard about her pregnancy. I never wanted to kill a woman so much like I wanted to kill her, despite she's Derek's sister. A lie is a lie.

She uses her pregnancy to stick herself to me. I'm not ready to be a father. I'm not ready for Derek. I'm not ready for Maple to leave me like I left her. I don't want Cara. And I vow to myself that I will never want her, even when she carries my baby.

A loud bang from the door startle me. It's my first instinct that Maple is back, that she regrets leaving. If she really does come back, I promise myself that I will apologize and I will apologize and I will apologize.

I open the door. My heart crushes to see Derek. I don't want this now, I want only Maple.

With all the effort and control, I gather up a breath and speak. “Is something wrong, Derek?"

“Yes." He says, his voice cold as steel. I flinch. “Everything is very wrong."

“Is it about Cara?" I ask, concern of the baby inside her.

“Maybe. Get me in and we have to talk." He glares at me. I move aside so through he can slip into the house. I close the door softly and he slides down the couch in front of the TV. I follow behind him.

“What do you want to know?" I ask, keeping myself as calm as possible. I don't enter to earn another punch from my best friend. Former best friend, for now. I cover the red mark on my face by sliding my palm up to my face, pretending that I'm caressing my stubble.

“Where is Faith?" He asks.

“I don't know." I say, honestly. “Isn't she at Natalie's place? She always go to her place when she faces trouble."

“She isn't there." He mutters. “I called her. She refused to tell me where she is currently. And she said: Ask you."

“What?" I simply stare at him, tension written clearly on my face.