🧸Breaking Point🍼

A/N: I know that in reality, Minho got eliminated first but for the sake of this story, I switched up the timeline a bit.

Everyone coped differently with stress, Chan knew that, yet he couldn't help but feel insecure about the way he handled it. During his lengthy training period for JYP Entertainment, he had watched most of his friends debut without him, putting him under increasing pressure to improve his skills and prove himself capable of being an idol too. It wasn't like they intended to grow distant but after their debuts they often were too busy to spend time with Chan, who was left alone to figure out how to move on from the life they had. He sometimes started to doubt his own skills but he couldn't help working hard to improve. Music was his life, he couldn't just give up on his dream. Aside from the self-doubt, he mainly felt lonely, watching the people he felt closest to move on with their lives. His mind started to wander dark places and at some point, he just couldn't take it anymore. After a series of breakdowns, the boy decided enough was enough. He wanted to work hard, to improve, to make music but he just couldn't. He needed to heal himself first but he wasn't somebody to go and ask for help. Instead, he searched the internet, hoping dearly to find advice or a way to get by on his own. During another sleepless night of browsing the internet, Chan stumbled over a blog, explaining the concept of age regression as a healthy coping mechanism for stress, anxiety and depression. The blog also introduced the concept of having a caregiver and Chan was about to close the page, feeling tears pool in his eyes. It had seemed so promising before but now that he learned that he'd need another person in order to escape the darkness of his mind, he felt lonely and hopeless all over again.

Luckily, he didn't close the page instantly, instead scanning over the comment section, where the so called 'littles' corrected the blog's author that they didn't have a caregiver and though some of them wanted one, most were just fine by themselves. That gave Chan hope and although it felt strange, he discreetly ordered a sippy cup online, deciding he might as well try. Insomnia had always been one of his biggest enemies, not only did it leave him exhausted to no end, it also gave his mind the opportunity to explore the deepest doubts and fears buried at the bottom of the Aussie's subconsciousness. During one of those nights, he made himself some tea and poured it into his sippy cup, before setting up his laptop. Even before he had learned about age regression, Chan had had a thing for Disney movies. They gave him a peaceful feeling though he wasn't always able to keep his focus on the movie. Settling back into bed, he started the first movie and raised the sippy cup to his lips. It felt foreign and the boy was embarrassed about it but the longer the movie played and his mind was fully trained on the screen, he drank from the cup more naturally.

A few hours into his movie marathon, Chan had finished his tea and put the sippy cup on his nightstand. He was now watching 'Finding Nemo', absentmindedly petting the wolf-plushie he always kept in his bed. He couldn't help but pout at the screen, when it didn't seem like they'd find the young fish again. A sad tear rolled down his cheek and sniffling he reached up to wipe at his eyes. He only now became aware of the thumb he had slipped between his lips, which he had been suckling on softly. Quickly removing it, Chan was mortified. He didn't remember sucking on his thumb and he had never intended to. It had just happened. It took some time for the boy to get over his initial shock as he continued watching his movie. After a while he felt curious and hesitantly raised his hand to his mouth again, taking his thumb between his lips. At first, he didn't know what he was supposed to do with it there but after sucking on it skeptically for a few minutes, it felt more natural and though he felt shy about it, Chan had to admit that in a way, it did feel nice. Cuddling up to his plushie, he closed his eyes and listened to the movie still playing and for the first time in a while, he was able to fully relax. His mind felt fuzzy as the warmth of his bed engulfed him and he drifted off to sleep.